Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời tốt nhưng cần chính xác ngữ pháp, trật tự thời gian và mạch lạc hơn. Tránh lỗi như thì động từ (liked/like), cụm từ không tự nhiên (“spend any time outdoors”), và câu dài thiếu liên kết. Nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng (Yes, I liked...), rồi thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể và kết thúc nhanh gọn.

例: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child. I often played on the swings and climbed trees with my friends, and my family usually had picnics there. These outings were special because they let me be active and spend quality time with my relatives.

提案: Ý hay nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp và diễn đạt lặp (relaxed and really stressed a lot — mâu thuẫn). Cần sửa thì và thứ tự từ, dùng liên từ hợp lý, tách ý thành câu ngắn hơn, cụ thể hóa hoạt động (e.g., walking, reading) và tránh lỗi chính tả (‘conversations’).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and reduce stress. On weekends I usually go with friends or family; we walk, have a picnic and catch up. Talking in a calm environment helps me unwind.

提案: Nên dùng cấu trúc câu chính xác và tránh lặp từ (‘also’ nhiều lần). Chú ý động từ phù hợp (gives, improves), và sắp xếp ý theo trình tự logic: lợi ích cho cư dân, sức khỏe, du lịch. Thêm bằng chứng hoặc ví dụ ngắn nếu có thể.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. More green spaces would give residents places to exercise and relax, which would improve public well-being. They could also make the city more attractive to tourists.

提案: Cần sửa ngữ pháp, từ bị viết sai (‘part’ -> ‘park’), cấu trúc lủng củng và thông tin mơ hồ. Nên nêu tên công viên rõ ràng, lý do cụ thể (cảnh đẹp, hoạt động) và dùng ví dụ hoạt động hợp lý (walking trails, boating), giữ độ dài 2–3 câu.

例: Yes, I would like to visit a park called Fulwood Park in the city. I have heard it is very beautiful with lakes and walking trails, so I want to go there to enjoy the scenery and try outdoor activities like boating or hiking.

× Definitely yes. I really like going to the park as a child because I enjoy playing games and spend any time outdoors.

✓ Definitely yes. I really liked going to the park as a child because I enjoyed playing games and spending time outdoors.

The speaker is talking about past habitual actions (childhood), so past tense verbs are required. Use 'liked' and 'enjoyed' for past, and the verb after 'enjoy' should be in the gerund form: 'spending' instead of 'spend any time'. Also remove 'any' which is unnecessary. Suggestion: Use past simple for past habits and gerund after verbs like 'enjoy'.

× For example, I often play on the swings and have picnics with my family which make those trips special.

✓ For example, I often played on the swings and had picnics with my family, which made those trips special.

Because the context is past (childhood) the verbs should be past tense: 'played' and 'had'. The relative clause must match the plural noun 'picnics' but the main clause is plural subject 'those trips', so the verb should be 'made' (past). Also add a comma before 'which' for clarity.

× Yes, honestly I still enjoy going to parks because they help me feel relaxed and really stressed a lot.

✓ Yes, honestly I still enjoy going to parks because they help me feel relaxed and reduce my stress a lot.

The original mixes contradictory phrases 'feel relaxed and really stressed a lot.' Replace with 'reduce my stress' to convey intended meaning. Maintain present simple 'enjoy' and 'help' for current habits. Use a noun 'stress' instead of adjective 'stressed' when paired with 'reduce'.

× I usually go at the weekend with my friends and my family too relax and we often have a picnic, catch up and have deep conf conversations which makes me feel comfortable.

✓ I usually go at the weekend with my friends and my family to relax, and we often have a picnic, catch up, and have deep conversations, which make me feel comfortable.

Use infinitive 'to relax' (purpose), not bare verb. 'Conversations' should be written in full and plural. The relative clause refers to plural activities 'we often have a picnic, catch up, and have deep conversations', so the verb should be 'make' (plural), not 'makes'. Also add commas for clarity and keep present simple for habitual actions.

× Actually, yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because that proves that my city is very attractive for tourists to come and it's also give resident space for exercise and relaxation and also improving overall well-being.

✓ Actually, yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because that would show my city is attractive to tourists, and it would also give residents space for exercise and relaxation and improve overall well-being.

Use 'would show' to match hypothetical preference. 'Give' needs 'would' to match conditional structure. Use 'residents' (plural noun) and parallel verb forms: 'give' and 'improve' should be in same conditional structure. Replace 'for tourists to come' with 'attractive to tourists'. Remove redundant 'also' and ensure correct verb forms.

× Actually, yes, the part that I want to go is full of city.

✓ Actually, yes, the part I want to visit is in the city centre.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear: 'part that I want to go is full of city' is incorrect. Use 'the part I want to visit' and a clearer location phrase like 'in the city centre' or 'in the center of the city'. Use 'visit' for places rather than 'go' in this structure.

× This is the park which is located in Fulwood, and I have heard it's such a very beautiful and spectacular park.

✓ This is the park that is located in Fulwood, and I have heard it's a very beautiful and spectacular park.

Use 'that' instead of 'which' in restrictive relative clauses in informal speech; 'such a very' is redundant — use 'a very' or 'such a' but not both. Keep present perfect 'have heard' for indirect report.

× So that's the reason why I want to go there and try a lot of games up here.

✓ So that's the reason why I want to go there and try lots of activities there.

Use 'try' with plural noun 'lots of activities' rather than 'a lot of games'. 'Up here' is inappropriate if referring to another location; use 'there'. Maintain infinitive 'to go' and base verb 'try'.