Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần trả lời rõ ràng, ngắn gọn theo cấu trúc: câu chủ đề + một hoặc hai chi tiết hỗ trợ cụ thể. Tránh lặp từ và lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: 'I do' nên là 'I did' vì nói về quá khứ; 'my friend is very good with me' có thể sửa thành 'I played with my friends a lot'). Nên dùng liên từ để nối ý (for example, because, so) và cung cấp mô tả cụ thể về hoạt động ở công viên (ví dụ: trò chơi, sân chơi, đi xe đạp).

例: Yes, I did. I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they had a large playground and I could play on the swings and slides with my friends. For example, we often spent hours racing each other on the grass and having picnics, which made those visits very fun.

提案: Cần trả lời trực tiếp và phù hợp với hiện tại (use present simple: 'Yes, I still like...'). Tránh lặp từ không cần thiết và những câu vô nghĩa như 'all days and all night' hay 'goodbye'. Nên nêu lý do cụ thể (ví dụ: new facilities, pleasant environment) và thêm chi tiết hợp lý bằng liên từ (because, so, for example).

例: Yes, I still like going to parks. Recently, a new children’s play area was installed, so I enjoy spending time there with friends and getting fresh air. For example, I often go for a walk in the evening and use the outdoor gym.

提案: Trả lời cần rõ ràng với cấu trúc: câu chủ đề + lý do + ví dụ. Tránh dùng thì không chính xác ('I will like' → 'I would like' hoặc 'I would like to see'). Tránh lặp từ và cung cấp lý do cụ thể (sức khỏe, không gian xanh, khu vui chơi cho trẻ em). Dùng liên từ để liên kết các ý (because, so, therefore).

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and places for families to relax. For example, new parks could include playgrounds, walking paths and seating areas, which would encourage people to exercise and meet friends.

提案: Cần cung cấp câu trả lời rõ ràng về một công viên cụ thể hoặc loại công viên muốn đến, dùng thì tương lai đúng ('I want to go' or 'I would like to visit'). Tránh nói lặp lại và nội dung không liên quan (punches, coins). Thay vào đó mô tả hoạt động cụ thể bạn muốn làm (e.g., ride a carousel, visit botanical garden) và dùng liên từ để mở rộng ý.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the large city park next year because it has a famous lake and a carousel. I plan to try the boat rides and walk the nature trails there, which would be relaxing and fun.

× Yes, I do, because when I go to the park I can play anything I want and I love to go to the park and I love to play with my friend.

✓ Yes, I did, because when I went to the park I could play anything I wanted and I loved going to the park and I loved playing with my friend.

The student is describing childhood habits (past). English requires past tense for actions in the past. Change present simple verbs (do, go, can, want, love) to past simple (did, went, could, wanted, loved) and use gerunds for activities (loving going/playing) to sound natural. Suggestion: use past simple consistently when referring to childhood memories.

× My friend is very good with me, so I love go to the park.

✓ My friend was very good to me, so I loved going to the park.

Describing a past relationship requires past tense 'was' and the correct preposition is 'good to' rather than 'good with'. Also use gerund 'going' after 'loved'. Suggestion: use 'good to someone' and match tense to the time being described.

× When it's raining I can't, so I'm waiting until I can go to the park.

✓ When it was raining I couldn't, so I waited until I could go to the park.

This sentence mixes present continuous with a past context. For past habitual events, use past simple: 'it was raining', 'couldn't', 'waited'. Suggestion: keep past tense for past situations.

× Yes, I do, because now I'm very, very, very lucky to go to the park now because it has the new game and I can play all days and all night and I like it.

✓ Yes, I do, because now I'm very lucky to go to the park because it has a new play area and I can play all day and into the night, and I like it.

This sentence is mostly present but has issues: 'the new game' is unclear—use 'a new play area' or 'new equipment'; 'all days' should be 'all day'; 'all night' is fine but 'into the night' is more natural. Remove redundant 'now' and reduce repeated adverbs. Suggestion: use singular/plural accurately and idiomatic time expressions.

× So I love, love, love go to the park.

✓ So I love, love, love going to the park.

After 'love' when expressing enjoyment of an activity, use the gerund form 'going' rather than the base verb 'go'. Suggestion: use verb + -ing after verbs of liking (love, enjoy, like).

× Yes, I will like to because more parks in my city I can play more and play on more and more and more.

✓ Yes, I would like that because with more parks in my city I could play more and play on more things.

'Will like' is incorrect for expressing desire; use 'would like' or 'would like to' to state a wish. The original sentence also has awkward word order; reorder to 'with more parks in my city' and use 'could' to express possibility. Suggestion: use 'would like' for polite wishes and restructure for clarity.

× I like it and I can play all days and all all night.

✓ I like it and I can play all day and all night.

'All days' is incorrect; the idiomatic expressions are 'all day' and 'all night'. Also remove the duplicated 'all'. Suggestion: use standard time expressions 'all day'/'all night'.

× I like to go to the park, even even the museum in the park.

✓ I like to go to the park, even the museum in the park.

The repeated 'even' is redundant. If intending to include the museum as well, keep a single 'even'. Also consider 'even visit the museum in the park' for clarity. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use verbs for clarity.

× Yes. I want to go to the parks in the future so I can play more and more.

✓ Yes. I want to go to the parks in the future so I can play more and more.

This sentence is acceptable; tense matches a future intention ('want to' + 'in the future'). No change needed. Suggestion: none.

× I can play punches, so I can punch punch and I can get more coins and coins and more money so I can play more in the future.

✓ I can play the puncher game, so I can punch and earn more coins and more money so I can play more in the future.

The original is repetitive and unclear. Use noun phrase 'the puncher game' or 'a punching game' and the verb 'punch' once; use 'earn' for coins/money. Suggestion: choose precise nouns and avoid repetition.

× I can I can play riding in a big horse, but no.

✓ I can ride a big horse, but not now.

Original has repeated 'I can' and incorrect structure 'play riding in a big horse'. Use the verb 'ride' with direct object 'a big horse'. 'But no' is informal and unclear—use 'but not now' or 'but I didn't'. Suggestion: simplify and use correct verb for the activity.