Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接并注意时态一致。开头用一两句明确回应问题（肯定或否定），接着用一两个具体细节说明原因或回忆，句子不要太长且避免重复。注意过去时（went, liked）和清晰表达（例如说明最喜欢公园的什么部分）。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with my grandfather, and my favorite part was the swing because I enjoyed the feeling of flying and spending time chatting with him.

提案: 回答明确且保持简洁，解释原因时用连词使逻辑清楚（for example, because, so）。避免不相关或模糊的词语（如“have money”）。将情绪与具体活动结合说明如何放松。

例: Yes, I still like going to parks because I often feel stressed from studying and personal issues. I walk or sit under trees there to clear my mind and relax, which helps me recharge before going back to work.

提案: 回答要更有条理，先直接回答，再给出两到三个具体理由。避免语法错误和混乱表达，使用恰当词汇（greenery, relax, benefit）。可举简短例子说明公园的社会价值。

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because not everyone has a place to relax. Parks provide greenery and fresh air, which is good for people's mental health and community activities.

提案: 回答要简洁并提供具体目标或例子。说明你想去哪些类型的公园或具体的景点，使用条件或比较语言（for example, while, unlike）。避免重复和不完整的句子。

例: Yes, I would like to visit parks in every province because each one has different scenery. For example, I want to see coastal parks with sea views and mountain parks with hiking trails, which are different from the parks in my city.

× I'm really into going to a park when I was a kid and I was like, I always went there with my grandpa.

✓ I loved going to parks when I was a kid, and I always went there with my grandpa.

原句时态和结构混乱：使用了现在时短语“I'm really into”与过去时间“when I was a kid”冲突，且插入语“and I was like”多余且口语化。建议把整个句子统一为过去时，并删除不必要的口语填充词，使表达更清晰。

× Grandpa and I like I the most like thing is the wing in the park.

✓ My grandpa and I's favourite thing was the swings in the park.

原句词序和词汇使用错误：“like I the most like thing”完全错误排列，应使用“favourite thing”或“the thing we liked most”。另外“wing”应为“swing”（名词拼写错误）。将句子改为过去时并采用正确词序。

× Yes 'cause these days I always have some study pressure and some relationship problems, so I always go there to clear my mind and recharge my batteries.

✓ Yes, because these days I often have study pressure and relationship problems, so I go there to clear my mind and recharge my batteries.

原句中“always”与现在完成进行或习惯动作混用显得重复且不够正式。将“'cause”改为“because”，并用“often”或“usually”更恰当地表达频率。此外去掉重复的“always”。

× Cause part, have money, things can make me unwind.

✓ Parks and green spaces help me unwind.

原句语序和用词混乱：“Cause part, have money, things”没有明确主语和逻辑。推测作者想表达“公园和绿色空间能让我放松”，因此重写为一 个简洁明确的句子。

× Sure, maybe because I can't no every everyone in my city could you charge their batteries from by going to a park and the other relay that I mean parks have always have money greenery and you know it is actually relaxing for our eyes.

✓ Sure. Maybe because not everyone in my city can recharge their batteries by going to a park, and parks always have a lot of greenery, which is relaxing for our eyes.

原句包含多处语法和拼写错误（如“can't no every everyone”、“could you charge”），句子冗长且缺乏标点。将其拆成两部分，修正否定和动词短语，改正拼写并使逻辑更清晰。

× My dream is going to my dream is going to every province park.

✓ My dream is to visit every provincial park.

原句重复且动词形式错误：“is going to”不应与“my dream”连用来表目的。正确表达为“My dream is to visit...”或“我梦想去每个省的公园”。

× So my answer is definitely yes 'cause I want to watch some different sceneries in park like someone in my city's park have, but not in other cities.

✓ So my answer is definitely yes, because I want to see different scenery in parks — things that some parks in my city have but others do not.

原句“watch some different sceneries”用词不当，应使用“see different scenery”或“see different sights”。“in park like someone in my city's park have”语序错误且拼写（someone→some）错误。重写后使句子更自然、语法正确，保持现在时表达愿望。