Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and pronunciation errors (e.g., Paris/parks). Add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were fun and relaxing. For example, I often played on the swings and made friends with other children there. As a result, those visits are some of my happiest childhood memories.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, then use linking words (for example, because, so) to add two specific reasons. Reduce filler words (uh, um) and avoid repeating the same idea. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often visit them in my free time to meet friends and because being in nature refreshes my mood and reminds me of childhood memories.

提案: Answer directly and give two specific, different reasons (e.g., health benefits, social spaces for children). Use correct noun forms and avoid repetitions. Use a linking word like 'because' or 'so' once, then expand with details.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide safe play areas for children and promote physical activity. In addition, parks offer green space where families can relax and neighbours can meet.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence naming a specific park or type of park you want to visit, then give one or two concrete reasons why. Avoid informal words like 'gossip' and reduce hesitations and repetitions.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the botanical garden near the river next year because it has many rare plants and peaceful walking paths. I think spending time there would help me relax and learn more about local flora.

× Yeah, I like going to Paris as a child because I whenever, when I was a child, I love to go parts because it gives me pleasure.

✓ Yeah, I liked going to parks as a child because whenever I was a child I loved to go to parks because they gave me pleasure.

The speaker mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. The sentence refers to childhood (past), so verbs should be in the past tense: like -> liked, love -> loved, gives -> gave. Also 'Paris' and 'parts' are incorrect words here (likely typos); 'parks' is correct and plural. Use consistent past tense to match the time frame.

× Whenever I go outside, like in parks, I played with with my little boys and I was happy.

✓ Whenever I went outside, like to parks, I played with my younger brothers and I was happy.

Mixing present 'go' with past 'played' is inconsistent; change 'go' to past 'went' to match 'played'. 'Little boys' is awkward for siblings; 'younger brothers' is clearer if intended. Also 'like in parks' should be 'like to parks' or 'in parks'; choose 'to parks'.

× Whenever I go to park, it gives me pleasure and. Uh.

✓ Whenever I went to the park, it gave me pleasure.

The sentence refers to past childhood, so use past tense verbs: go -> went, gives -> gave. Also include the article 'the' before 'park' when speaking of a specific type of place. Remove filler sounds for clarity.

× Yeah, I still like going to parks. Uh, whenever I get some free time, I go outside to hang out with my friends and I go to parks because it remembers my childhood and it also gives me pleasure and uh, and it also, uh, refresh my mood. So I often go to park.

✓ Yeah, I still like going to parks. Whenever I get some free time, I go outside to hang out with my friends and visit parks because they remind me of my childhood and also give me pleasure, and they also refresh my mood. So I often go to the park.

Main issues: 'it remembers my childhood' is incorrect subject and verb; use plural 'parks' and 'remind' because parks (plural) are the subject. 'Refresh my mood' needs third-person singular agreement when subject is singular (it refreshes) but here we use 'they refresh' to match 'parks'. Use 'visit parks' or 'go to parks'. Add article 'the' in 'go to the park' when speaking generally about park visits.

× Yeah, I I would like to see more parks in my city because park is a park is essential for everyone, because park is a most important part for child, because park is a enjoyable moment for every every children.

✓ Yeah, I would like to see more parks in my city because parks are essential for everyone. Parks are an important place for children because visiting a park is an enjoyable experience for every child.

Incorrect or missing articles and singular/plural mismatches: 'park is' should be 'parks are' or 'the park is' depending on meaning. 'a most important part for child' should be 'an important place for children' and 'a enjoyable' must be 'an enjoyable'. Also avoid repetition and use plural 'children' correctly.

× And I think I would like to see more parks in my city.

✓ And I think I would like to see more parks in my city.

This sentence is grammatically correct; tense and structure suit the question about a present preference. No change needed.

× Uh, yes, I want to go parks in future, uh, because it, it is one of the good and best places where people can gossip and spend their time with a relaxing moment and it creates a good environment and it helps us to refresh our mind.

✓ Uh, yes, I want to go to parks in the future because they are good places where people can talk and spend time relaxing. They create a pleasant environment and help us refresh our minds.

Errors: 'go parks' needs preposition 'to' (preposition error) and article 'the' before 'future' (go in the future -> in the future). 'It is one of the good and best places' is awkward; use 'they are good places' or 'one of the best places'. 'Gossip' is informal and may be unintended; 'talk' is safer. 'A relaxing moment' should be 'relaxing' or 'time relaxing'. 'Refresh our mind' should be 'refresh our minds' (plural). Also correct pronoun agreement: parks -> they.

× So I, I would like to go in future.

✓ So I would like to go in the future.

Missing article 'the' before 'future'. The phrase 'in the future' is the correct idiom. Otherwise the modal 'would like to' correctly expresses a future desire.