Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản và độ tự nhiên: sửa lỗi động từ và mạo từ (a/the), loại bỏ từ thừa, và diễn đạt câu mạch lạc hơn. Thêm một câu hỗ trợ ngắn với chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ hoạt động bạn làm ở công viên) để làm câu trả lời đầy đủ hơn.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. Although the park was quite far from my house, I visited it every weekend to play on the swings and have picnics with my family.

提案: Sửa lại trật tự từ, ngắt câu hợp lý và tránh nhầm lẫn từ (pub ≠ park). Nên dùng liên từ để nối ý hợp lý và nêu một thói quen rõ ràng. Tránh mâu thuẫn (ví dụ "I usually visit a pub... when I have free time to go shopping and get fresh air" không hợp lý).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I don't go often because I am busy with work and homework. On weekends, when I have free time, I prefer to go to a nearby park to get some fresh air and sometimes go shopping afterward.

提案: Làm câu trả lời cụ thể hơn với lý do và một kết quả rõ ràng; dùng cấu trúc tự nhiên và từ vựng phù hợp (greener, improve air quality). Thêm ví dụ cụ thể về lợi ích (ví dụ khu vui chơi cho trẻ em, không gian tập thể dục).

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they have many trees and make the city greener. More parks would improve air quality and provide places for children to play and for people to exercise.

提案: Sửa ngữ pháp (there's → there are, park → parks), tránh cụm từ không rõ nghĩa ("how many Topaz"). Nên liệt kê cụ thể một hoặc hai tên công viên và nói vì sao muốn đến đó. Giữ câu ngắn gọn và rõ ràng.

例: Yes, there are several parks I want to visit in the future, such as Yaden Park and Topaz Park. I want to go there because Yaden Park has a large lake and Topaz Park is famous for its flower gardens.

× Of course, when I was a kid I always wanted to go to park, although the park is was quite far from my house.

✓ Of course, when I was a kid I always wanted to go to the park, although the park was quite far from my house.

The noun 'park' requires the definite article 'the' because it refers to a specific place; also there is an extra auxiliary 'is' before 'was' that is unnecessary. Remove the extra 'is' and add 'the' before 'park' to make the sentence grammatically correct and clear.

× Definitely, I still love going to the park but I don't go often because I'm busy with homework and work.

✓ Definitely, I still love going to the park but I don't go often because I'm busy with homework and work.

This sentence is actually correct in tense and structure. No change needed. Ensure consistent present simple for habitual actions (I don't go) and present continuous for current ongoing states (I'm busy).

× I usually visit a pub at the weekend when I free have free time to go shopping and get some fresh air.

✓ I usually visit a pub at the weekend when I have free time to go shopping and get some fresh air.

The phrase 'when I free have free time' has incorrect word order and a duplicated word. Use the correct order 'when I have free time'. Also 'at the weekend' is acceptable but ensure 'have free time' follows immediately after 'when'.

× Of course, I'd like to see more parks in my city because the park often has many trees.

✓ Of course, I'd like to see more parks in my city because parks often have many trees.

The original mixes plural 'parks' with singular 'the park'. When speaking generally about multiple parks, use plural 'parks' and omit 'the'. Change 'the park often has' to 'parks often have' to match plurality and general meaning.

× This can help the city more green and more fresh air.

✓ This can help make the city greener and provide more fresh air.

You cannot say 'help the city more green'; use a causative structure 'help make the city greener'. Also 'more fresh air' needs a verb 'provide' to be grammatical. Use comparative adjective 'greener'.

× Yes, there's several park I want to go in the future, but it's just in the city, like Yaden Park, how many Topaz and so on.

✓ Yes, there are several parks I want to go to in the future, but they are just in the city, like Yaden Park, How Many Topaz and so on.

Use 'there are' with plural 'several parks' (there be issue). Also 'park' should be plural 'parks', and the verb 'go' needs the preposition 'to' ('go to'). Replace 'it's' with 'they are' to agree with plural subject. Proper nouns should be capitalized. If 'How Many Topaz' is a name, keep capitalization.