Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조와 시제 오류를 교정하고, 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요. 질문에 직접 답한 뒤 한두 문장으로 구체적 세부사항(누구와, 무엇을 했는지, 기억에 남는 활동)을 연결사로 자연스럽게 이어 설명하세요. 예: 주어+과거 시제 사용, 반복 제거, 'when I was young' 다음에 구체적 활동 추가.

例: Yes, I did. When I was young, I often went to a small park near my house with my mother, and I used to play tag and swing with my friends there.

提案: 이유 제시 방식과 문장 자연스러움을 개선하세요. ‘nowadays’와 ‘today’ 같은 중복어구를 피하고, 현재 상태와 이유를 한두 문장으로 명확히 연결하세요. 연결사(so, because, therefore)를 적절히 사용해 논리 흐름을 만들어야 합니다.

例: Not really. I don’t go to parks much nowadays because I am focused on my studies and I am usually very busy, so I prefer to relax at home.

提案: 의도를 분명히 밝히고 비교문을 정확한 어휘와 문법으로 표현하세요. ‘in Korea’를 한 번만 사용하고, 비교할 때는 ‘compared to’ 뒤의 명사구를 정확히 쓰며 복수형·관사 사용을 신경 쓰세요. 또한 구체적 이유(이점)를 덧붙이면 좋습니다.

例: Yes, I would. In Korea there are many small neighborhood parks, but there are fewer large public parks compared to other countries, so I think having more big parks would improve people’s leisure options.

提案: 문장을 간결하고 자연스럽게 구성하세요. ‘abroad’ 앞에 전치사와 관사 사용을 확인하고, 희망을 말할 때 구체적 목표(예: 어떤 나라, 어떤 활동)를 하나 제시하면 답이 더 설득력 있습니다.

例: I’m not very familiar with specific parks here, but I would like to visit a large public park abroad in the future, for example Hyde Park in London, to enjoy picnics and long walks.

× Yes I did when I was young I always I open went to a small park around my house with my mother and I usually play win with my friends and.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was young, I always went to a small park near my house with my mother, and I usually played games with my friends.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses and has word choice errors. 'I did' is correct as a short answer, but the rest should be in past tense to match 'when I was young.' Use past simple 'went' and 'played' not present 'play'. 'Open' is incorrect here; use 'often' if intended. 'Around my house' is better phrased 'near my house'. Combine clauses with proper punctuation and conjunctions to form clear sentences.

× Actually, I don't like going to parks now because I focus on my study and I am so busy today nowadays, so I don't go to parks.

✓ Actually, I don't like going to parks now because I am focusing on my studies and I am very busy nowadays, so I don't go to parks.

The original mixes simple present and awkward adverb placement. 'Focus on my study' should be 'am focusing on my studies' or 'focus on my studies' to be natural; 'study' countable here uses plural. 'I am so busy today nowadays' is redundant and incorrect; use 'very busy nowadays'. Keep tense consistent (present) for current habits.

× Yes, I hope that because in Korea Korea there are many small parks. Compared to big parks in abroad Koreans park is very minority.

✓ Yes, I hope so because in Korea there are many small parks. Compared to big parks abroad, parks in Korea are less common.

Errors: 'in abroad' should be 'abroad' or 'in foreign countries' (preposition misuse). 'Koreans park is very minority' is incorrect word choice and grammar; use 'parks in Korea are less common' or 'there are fewer large parks in Korea.' Remove duplicate 'Korea'. 'Hope that' is better as 'hope so' in this context.

× Actually, I don't know parks well. Umm, although I don't know about par, when I go, I visit another country. I want to go a big large public park in abroad.

✓ Actually, I don't know many parks well. Umm, although I don't know much about parks, when I travel to another country I would like to visit a large public park abroad.

Multiple issues: use of countable nouns and articles ('parks' plural, 'many parks'/'much about parks'). 'Par' is a typo for 'park'. 'When I go, I visit another country' is unclear—use 'when I travel to another country'. 'I want to go a big large public park in abroad' has article and adjective order problems; use 'visit a large public park abroad' or 'go to a large public park abroad.' Maintain modal consistency with future desire ('would like to visit' or 'want to visit').