Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and correct awkward phrases (e.g. "played the best people" is unclear). Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My mother often took me there on weekends, and we would play on the swings and have small picnics, which created precious memories for me.

提案: Make the response more natural and organize reasons with linking words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g. "clear my mind" instead of "clean off my mind"). Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid repeating the same idea.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me clear my mind after a busy day. Also, I often meet friends or talk with my parents there, which helps me relax and recharge.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. Give a concise opinion then support it with one clear reason. Use correct grammar (e.g. "development policies" not "policy will be available") and linking words like "because" or "however."

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks, because green spaces improve residents' quality of life. However, I know it can be difficult in modern cities where land is often used for housing or commercial development.

提案: Be specific about places and correct country names ("the USA" or "Britain"). Give one or two concrete details about the park you want to visit and why. Keep sentences short and avoid vague words like "passenbys."

例: Absolutely. I would love to visit parks in the USA or Britain, such as Central Park in New York or Hyde Park in London. I imagine having a picnic there, enjoying the scenery, and chatting with friends while watching people pass by.

× my mother usually brought me to the park and played the best people with me.

✓ my mother usually brought me to the park and played with me in the best way.

The original phrase 'played the best people with me' is ungrammatical and likely misuses noun 'people' and lacks correct verb phrases. This is not a past participle issue per se but fits best as correcting verb phrase usage: use 'played with me' plus an adverbial phrase 'in the best way' to convey quality. Suggestion: use clear verb + preposition combinations and place adverbs after the verb or before the adjective they modify.

× And it was a very it was a very precious experience and memory to me.

✓ It was a very precious experience and memory for me.

The original repeats 'it was a very' and uses 'to me' which is awkward here. Correct structure removes redundancy and uses the preposition 'for' with 'experience and memory'. Suggestion: avoid repetition and choose appropriate prepositions ('for someone').

× And now I still walk in the park with my mother.

✓ I still walk in the park with my mother now.

Word order and tense: present simple is fine but placing 'now' at the end sounds more natural. Suggestion: place adverbs of time at the end or beginning for clarity.

× Yes, I still like going to park now because I think it can refresh me a lot that I can clean off my mind and after a busy day and I can talk or chat with my friends or my parents, it can help me relax a lot.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park now because I think it refreshes me and clears my mind after a busy day. I can talk or chat with my friends or my parents, which helps me relax.

Missing definite article before 'park' and several issues with tense, word order and run-on sentence. Use 'the park' for a specific place type, use present simple 'refreshes' for habitual action, and split into two sentences to avoid run-on. Also use 'clear my mind' not 'clean off my mind'.

× I wish the policy will be available but I think it is difficult due to in modern city we will need to build a lot of building or apartment store even department to make profit.

✓ I wish such a policy would be implemented, but I think it is difficult because in modern cities we need to build many buildings, apartments, or shopping centers to make a profit.

'Wish' with future events should use past or conditional form ('would be' or 'would be implemented'). 'Due to in modern city' is incorrect preposition usage and singular/plural errors: use 'because' and 'in modern cities'. 'A lot of building' should be 'many buildings' and 'apartment store even department' is unclear; 'apartments or shopping centers' is appropriate. Suggest using conditional with 'wish' and correct plural forms.

× I wish I can go to the USA or British and find a park with splendid views there.

✓ I wish I could go to the USA or Britain and find a park with splendid views there.

After 'I wish' talk about unreal or unlikely present/future situations, use 'could' (past/modal) rather than 'can'. Also 'British' is an adjective; use the noun 'Britain' or 'the UK'. Suggest using 'I wish I could' for desired but uncertain actions.

× And I want to picnic in the park and appreciate their natural views or passenbys there and talk with my friend.

✓ I want to have a picnic in the park, enjoy the natural scenery and watch passersby, and talk with my friend.

Use 'have a picnic' instead of 'picnic' as a verb or 'picnic' as noun with article. 'Appreciate their natural views' is incorrect: use 'enjoy the natural scenery'. 'Passenbys' is misspelled; correct noun is 'passersby'. Also ensure plural/singular agreement: 'my friend' or 'my friends' depending on intent. Suggest using common collocations: 'have a picnic', 'enjoy scenery', 'watch passersby'.