Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 答案要更直接并注意时态与句子结构。开头用主题句直接回答，然后用一到两句具体细节支持，避免重复词（如"there"重复）和混用时态。可以用更恰当的名词（scenery 不可数，使用 scenes 或 beautiful scenery）。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. The parks had beautiful scenery and many animals, and I often played games with my friends there, which was great fun.

提案: 注意主谓一致和词语搭配。保持句子简洁，用连接词使逻辑更流畅（for example, because）。可把感受说得更具体，例如说明散步后有哪些明显变化。

例: Yes, I do. I usually go to the park near my home when I feel tired or stressed because walking there calms me down and helps me sleep better at night.

提案: 句子结构和用词需要改进，避免字面直译造成的错误（例如"parks on which is full of"）。先直接回答，然后用一两点具体理由支持，注意名词单复数和介词用法。

例: Yes, I would. I think more parks with lots of trees would be great because children would have safe places to play, and adults could enjoy fresh air and exercise.

提案: 注意时态和从句结构，避免冗长和语法重复。先用一句话概括想去的公园类型，再用一两句具体说明原因，使用正确的不可数名词（air）和动词形式。

例: In the future, I'd like to visit parks that have many trees, colorful flowers and clean air because being there relaxes me and lifts my mood.

× There were a lot of beautiful sceneries and animals and there and I also enjoy playing games with my friends there and it's much more fun.

✓ There were a lot of beautiful scenes and animals there, and I also enjoyed playing games with my friends there; it was much more fun.

该句描述过去的经历，主句和从句应使用过去时。原句中混用了现在时（enjoy, it's），时态不一致。建议将与过去经历相关的动词改为过去式（enjoy → enjoyed，it's → it was）。另外，sceneries 用法不当，应使用复数名词 scenes。

× Yes I do, I usually go to the park near my home, especially when I feel tired or stressed out. Walking in a park make me feel more enjoyable and relaxed.

✓ Yes, I do. I usually go to the park near my home, especially when I feel tired or stressed. Walking in a park makes me feel more comfortable and relaxed.

第一部分时态使用正确，但第二句中主语是单数短语 Walking in a park，谓语动词应使用第三人称单数 makes（原文 make 为单数错误）。同时 enjoyably 用法不当，改为形容词 comfortable 更自然。建议注意主语与谓语的一致性并选择恰当的形容词。

× Yes, I like to because I think parks on which is full of green trees are the good at for the children's scenery.

✓ Yes, I would, because I think parks that are full of green trees are good for children's leisure.

原句中介词和从句结构混乱：‘on which is full of’ 用法不当，应使用关系从句 that are full of；‘the good at for the children's scenery’ 语序和介词错误，应表达为 good for children's leisure（或 children）。建议使用简单的关系代词和常见介词短语（good for）。

× For example, people can walk around the parks and enjoy the fresh air there.

✓ For example, people can walk around parks and enjoy the fresh air there.

在泛指公园时不需要 the；原句使用 the parks 暗示特指，语境为一般建议应省略定冠词。建议区分泛指和特指，必要时省略冠词。

× I like to go to parks in the future with more green trees, beautiful flowers and clear airs which is made me helps me feel clear, help me feel relaxed and cheer me up.

✓ I would like to go to parks in the future with more green trees, beautiful flowers and clear air, which make me feel refreshed, relaxed and cheerful.

原句存在人称/代词与动词不一致问题：which 指代复数名词（trees, flowers, air），从句谓语应使用复数 make（不是 is made 或 helps me）。air 通常不可数，应用 clear air。后半句用法冗余且时态混乱，改为并列形容词短语更简洁。建议理清先行词数和关系代词从句谓语的一致性，简化表达。