Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar (tense, articles, plurals), and organize into a clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details. Use linking words and avoid repetition.

例: Yes. I loved going to parks as a child because they were exciting and refreshing. I often went with my friends and we spent hours playing badminton, which became one of my favourite hobbies.

提案: Answer directly, reduce hesitations, correct grammar and use linking words to explain reasons. State preference clearly and give one or two concise reasons.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but only with friends or family. When I go with others we can socialise and exercise together, which makes the visit more enjoyable than going alone.

提案: Good direct answer and reason. Improve grammar (articles, verb forms), be more specific about benefits and provide a clearer example with fewer repetitions.

例: Yes, I would. More parks would provide a relaxing, green space for exercise and family time. For example, a small park near my house would let my family relax outdoors without travelling far.

提案: Speak clearly and correct repetitions and article use. Name the park clearly, explain specific features you like (peaceful environment, activities) and avoid vague phrases.

例: Yes. I would like to visit the Farm Park near the river because it has peaceful picnic areas and outdoor game facilities. My friends and I could relax there and play frisbee or badminton.

× As I like going to park as a child in my childhood because it give us excitement and refreshment sometimes, I went there with my friends and play badminton a lot.

✓ As I liked going to parks as a child because they gave us excitement and refreshment sometimes, I went there with my friends and played badminton a lot.

Errors: 'going to park' should be plural 'going to parks' (countable noun requires article or plural) and 'give' should be past tense 'gave' to match past context. 'play' should be past 'played' to match 'I went'. Suggestions: Use plural for general places ('parks') or include 'the park'. Keep past tense consistent for past habits ('liked', 'gave', 'played').

× My hobby is playing a badminton very much in with my friends and spend a lot of time there.

✓ My hobby is playing badminton with my friends, and I spend a lot of time there.

Errors: 'a badminton' is incorrect because 'badminton' is an uncountable sport name and does not take 'a'. Extra words 'in' are unnecessary. Verb 'spend' needs subject and present tense agreement 'I spend'. Suggestions: Use 'playing badminton' and include the subject for verbs ('I spend').

× As I love visiting the park with my friends and family members, but I don't like, uh, going there alone because, umm, when, when we are going with friends and family, they, we, we can spend a lot of time with them and do physical exercise too with them.

✓ I love visiting the park with my friends and family, but I don't like going there alone because when we go with friends and family we can spend time together and do physical exercise.

Errors: Redundant filler words removed. 'are going' is awkward for habitual action; use simple present 'go'. Pronoun repetition 'they, we, we' is incorrect. Repetition of 'with them' unnecessary. Suggestions: Use simple present for habitual actions, avoid redundancy, and maintain clear pronoun references ('we' and 'together').

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because it will give us relaxing and refreshing environment to us.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they will give us a relaxing and refreshing environment.

Errors: 'it' should be 'they' to agree with plural 'parks'. 'relaxing and refreshing environment to us' is awkward; insert article 'a' and remove extra 'to us'. Suggestions: Ensure pronoun agreement with plural nouns and include articles where needed ('a relaxing environment').

× For example, I would like to make a park near my house which give me more relaxed with my family members.

✓ For example, I would like to have a park near my house which would help me relax with my family.

Errors: 'make a park' is unnatural; 'have a park' or 'build a park' fits. 'give me more relaxed' is incorrect grammar; use 'help me relax' or 'make me more relaxed'. 'give' should be conditional 'would give' or rephrase. Suggestions: Use natural verbs ('have' or 'build') and correct verb forms after causative expressions ('help me relax').

× In my city there are are many parks located, but I like to go farm park with my friends because the environment is very peaceful and we can also play games we would like to play.

✓ In my city there are many parks, but I like to go to Farm Park with my friends because the environment is very peaceful and we can also play the games we like.

Errors: Duplicate 'are are'. 'parks located' is unnecessary. Missing preposition 'to' before 'Farm Park' and missing article/capitalization if it's a name. 'games we would like to play' is wordy; simplify to 'the games we like'. Suggestions: Remove duplicates, use correct prepositions with place names ('go to'), and simplify redundant phrases.

× There are lots of games there's there and I would enjoy it.

✓ There are lots of games there, and I would enjoy them.

Errors: Mixed constructions 'there's there' is incorrect and redundant. 'it' refers to plural 'games' so should be 'them'. Suggestions: Use a single correct locative expression ('there') and match pronoun number to the noun ('them').