Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar, use one or two specific supporting details, and avoid repetition. Keep it within 3–4 sentences. Use linking words like “because” or “for example.”

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My favorite was Ayub Park because it had wide lawns and playgrounds where I played games with friends and cousins. For example, we often played tag near the big fountain.

提案: Clarify your meaning and use simple correct sentences. State clearly whether you still go, give one or two reasons, and avoid unclear phrases. Use linking words such as “because” or “so.”

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful and good for exercise. For example, I often walk or sit on a bench to read a book because it helps me relax.

提案: Answer directly and provide a clear plan or reason. Use correct tenses and avoid unrelated ideas. Limit to 2–3 coherent sentences, using linking words like “because” and “so.”

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because we currently lack large green spaces. I hope the city will build big parks with playgrounds and sports fields so families can enjoy outdoor activities.

提案: Make sure you answer the question about parks specifically. If you mean parks abroad, say which ones and why. Use one clear topic sentence and one supporting detail with a linking word like “because.”

例: Yes, I would like to visit some famous parks in the future, such as Central Park in New York because it is large and offers many activities. I also want to visit parks in the UAE to see how they are designed and to enjoy their gardens.

× When I was a child I liked so much parts.

✓ When I was a child I liked parks very much.

The student used 'parts' incorrectly instead of 'parks' and put the adverb phrase 'so much' in an awkward position. This is a singular/plural and word choice issue. Use the plural 'parks' and place the adverb after the verb phrase: 'liked parks very much.'

× My favorite part is Ayub Park.

✓ My favorite park is Ayub Park.

The student wrote 'part' instead of 'park' (word choice) and used 'is' correctly but the noun was wrong. Correct the noun to 'park' and keep the simple present 'My favorite park is Ayub Park.' This fixes the sentence structure and meaning.

× National Park I like so much and I play games in park with my friends and cousins.

✓ I like Ayub National Park very much, and I used to play games there with my friends and cousins.

The original sentence has poor word order and tense consistency. Use a clear subject 'I' and link ideas with a comma and conjunction. Since the question asked about childhood, 'used to play' indicates habitual past action. Also use 'there' to refer to the park and include 'with my friends and cousins.'

× Yes, I like going to park because in park there are so many beds or subway park in I like to serve women's 25 women's and like the swaggy delegate.

✓ Yes, I like going to the park because there are many benches and playgrounds. I enjoy spending time there with women and other visitors.

The original contains many errors: missing definite article 'the' before 'park', incorrect words 'beds' (should be 'benches' or 'beds' if botanical), unclear phrase 'subway park', and garbled fragments. This correction uses appropriate nouns ('benches', 'playgrounds'), proper article usage, and a coherent second sentence. Keep present tense for habitual preferences.

× Yes, in my city there are no big park, but I in future I made a big party by city, by plane in future is that I made a big play big park.

✓ Yes, in my city there are no big parks, but in the future I would like to build a big park in the city.

Several issues: 'no big park' needs plural 'parks' or article 'a big park'; awkward future expression 'I made' is incorrect—use 'I would like to build' or 'I will build' for future intention. Remove unclear phrases like 'by plane' and redundant repetition. Use 'in the city' for clarity.

× There is lot of grounds in park in samudar activities.

✓ There are many open grounds in parks for sports and community activities.

Use plural agreement: 'There are' with 'many' for countable 'grounds' or 'open grounds.' Clarify 'samudar' (unintelligible) by replacing with 'community' and specify activities. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct quantifier usage.

× US in future I want to go to future museum.

✓ In the future I want to go to a museum in the US.

Place the time phrase 'In the future' at the start, use the article 'a' before 'museum', and put location 'in the US' after the noun. This fixes preposition and article placement and creates a natural English sentence.

× I like so much future museum in the UAE.

✓ I really like museums in the UAE and I would like to visit a future museum there.

The original mixes present preference with 'future museum' awkwardly. Use 'I really like museums in the UAE' to express general preference and 'I would like to visit a museum there in the future' for the intention. This fixes adverb placement and article use and clarifies meaning.