Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 명확하지 않고 문법과 어휘 오류가 많습니다. 먼저 주제문으로 간단히 ‘좋아하지 않는다’라고 말한 후, 이유를 명확하고 구체적으로 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 소리(uh, umm)와 문장 중간의 막힘을 줄이고, 어휘는 간단한 표현(예: 'waste my time', 'not interested')으로 대체하세요. 또한 ‘it's not their fault’ 같은 모호한 표현 대신 구체적인 이유(예: 사진 찍는 것이 번거롭다, 순간을 즐기고 싶다 등)를 사용하세요.

例: No, I don't really enjoy taking pictures of different views. I find it interrupts the moment and wastes my time because I prefer to observe and remember the scene personally. For example, when I'm traveling I like to soak in the atmosphere rather than stop and take photos.

提案: 주제문은 있으나 문법과 어휘 선택이 부정확하고 문장이 끝나지 않습니다. 'watching' 대신 'preferring'이나 'I prefer views of urban areas'처럼 정확한 동사 사용을 연습하세요. 이유는 구체적으로 두세 가지로 제시하고, 연결어(for example, because, such as)를 사용해 문장을 논리적으로 이어야 합니다. 또한 소유격과 복수형(people, people's)을 정확히 쓰세요.

例: I prefer views of urban areas because there are many interesting things to see, such as shops, street life, and modern architecture. For example, I enjoy watching busy markets and unique buildings because they show local culture and energy.

提案: 답변이 불완전하고 반복이 있으며 문법적 오류가 있습니다. 'views of in' 같은 중복을 피하고 간단한 구조로 말하세요. 이유는 구체적으로 제시하고 연결어(e.g., because, so, for example)를 사용해 설명을 확장하세요. 또한 문장을 최대 3–4문장으로 제한해 명확성을 유지하세요.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer new sights and cultural experiences. For example, visiting a foreign city lets me discover different architecture, foods, and street scenes, which I find exciting and educational.

× I no I don't because taking a picture of different views uh makes me losing MO farm and umm.

✓ No, I don't, because taking pictures of different views makes me lose focus and...

Student used incorrect pronouns and wrong verb forms: 'I no I don't' should be 'No, I don't' for refusal; 'taking a picture' -> plural 'taking pictures' suits general activity; 'makes me losing' is wrong verb choice after 'makes' (causative verb should be followed by base form), so use 'makes me lose'; 'MO farm' seems to be a mispronunciation or wrong word; replaced with 'focus' as a plausible intended meaning. Suggestion: use 'No, I don't' for negation, use plural when speaking generally, and after 'makes' use base verb form.

× It's not their fault I don't like.

✓ It's not their fault that I don't like it.

Missing object 'it' and missing conjunction 'that' make the clause unclear. Use 'It's not their fault that...' to introduce the reason clause, and include 'it' to refer to the activity. Suggestion: include 'that' for clarity and add the appropriate object pronoun.

× I prefer watching urban areas because I can find lots of things like stores and people's that and sometimes I can find some beautiful situations like.

✓ I prefer urban areas because I can find lots of things like stores and people, and sometimes I can find some beautiful scenes.

'Watching urban areas' is unnatural; prefer + noun 'urban areas' is sufficient. 'people's that' is incorrect use of possessive and demonstrative; should be 'people'. 'beautiful situations' is odd — 'beautiful scenes' is appropriate. Suggestion: use nouns directly after 'prefer', avoid unnecessary gerunds, and choose collocations like 'beautiful scenes'.

× I prefer views of in other countries because I can find lots of new things and it's easy to explore different.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I can find lots of new things and it's easy to explore different places.

Redundant prepositions 'of in' — choose one: 'in other countries'. Sentence ends with 'different' lacking a noun; add 'places' to complete meaning. Suggestion: use a single correct preposition and ensure adjectives like 'different' modify a noun.

× And I can get to, I can.

✓ And I can experience them, I can.

Fragmented phrase 'I can get to, I can' is incomplete and unclear. Provide a full verb phrase like 'I can experience them' or 'I can get to know them'. Suggestion: complete the sentence by adding the object and full verb to express the intended action.