Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, vocabulary accuracy and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and plurals, and remove unrelated or incorrect words (e.g. “scraping”, “Denmark” if unintended). Use 2–3 supporting details linked with connectors. Be specific about what you like photographing and why.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me learn about composition and framing. For example, I often photograph cityscapes and historic buildings because their lines and details teach me how to compose a balanced image. Also, taking photos while I travel inspires new ideas for my artwork.

提案: Correct factual errors and grammar, and give clearer, specific reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, “because” or “for instance”). Avoid mixing unrelated examples (the Grand Canyon is not in Bangkok). Mention one or two clear reasons why you prefer urban views and give a brief example.

例: I prefer urban views because cities often have many historic buildings and interesting details. For instance, places like Kinkaku-ji in Kyoto have elegant decorations that I can photograph up close, which helps me capture intricate patterns and textures. Also, urban environments offer a variety of subjects in a small area.

提案: Fix grammar and choose appropriate adjectives; avoid negative or unclear words like “dirty” or “grifting.” Start with a direct statement, then give 2–3 specific supporting details using linking words. Be concise and ensure sentences are natural and coherent.

例: I prefer views in Thailand because its temples and palaces have rich, intricate decorations that are inspiring. For example, when I visit a temple I like to photograph close-ups of statues and patterns, since these details often spark ideas for my new artwork.

× I enjoy taking picture of different views because it help me learn about composition and framing.

✓ I enjoy taking pictures of different views because it helps me learn about composition and framing.

Errors: 'picture' should be plural (Singular and plural issue, ID 1) because 'pictures' refers to multiple photos; 'help' should be 'helps' to agree with singular third-person subject 'it' (Third person singular issue, ID 2) or better, with singular noun 'it' referring to taking pictures, so subject-verb agreement requires 'helps'. Suggestion: use 'pictures' and 'helps' to match number and subject-verb agreement.

× I especially like photographing, scraping, architecture and Denmark and travel since those buildings are always look stunning and breathtakingly.

✓ I especially like photographing architecture, landscapes, and cities when I travel, since those buildings always look stunning and breathtaking.

Errors addressed from list: incorrect word choice and listing (treated as preposition/word choice issue, ID 11) and present tense verb form 'look' follows plural subject but 'always look' is okay; original had extra commas and wrong words: 'scraping' is incorrect (likely 'scenery' or 'landscapes'); 'and Denmark and travel' is ungrammatical. 'breathtakingly' is an adverb used where an adjective 'breathtaking' is needed (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs, ID 13). Suggestion: reorder list as 'photographing architecture, landscapes, and cities when I travel' and use 'breathtaking' to modify 'buildings'.

× They always give me some inspire.

✓ They always give me some inspiration.

Error: 'inspire' is a verb; the noun 'inspiration' is required here (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs, ID 13). Suggestion: replace verb with noun 'inspiration' or rephrase 'They always inspire me.' depending on intended meaning.

× I prefer views in urban area.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas.

Error: 'area' should be plural 'areas' to match general preference (Singular and plural issue, ID 1; also incorrect prepositional phrase 'in urban area' is unidiomatic, ID 11). Suggestion: use 'in urban areas' or 'in the urban area' depending on meaning.

× Most of ancient buildings are concentrated in urban areas such as Kinkaji in Kyoto and the Grand Canyon in Bangkok.

✓ Most ancient buildings of historical interest are concentrated in urban areas; for example, Kinkakuji in Kyoto. The Grand Canyon is not in Bangkok.

Errors: factual and sentence structure issues (Sentence structure errors, ID 26). 'Most of ancient buildings' is awkward; use 'Most ancient buildings of historical interest' or 'Many ancient buildings'. Also the examples are incorrect: Kinkakuji (spelled) is in Kyoto, but the Grand Canyon is in the United States, not Bangkok. Suggestion: correct spelling 'Kinkakuji' and avoid incorrect examples; separate sentences for clarity.

× I'd like to take photos of their elegant decorate in close distance and take photo of poor structure to record their.

✓ I'd like to take photos of their elegant decorations from close up and photograph ruined structures to record them.

Errors: 'decorate' should be noun 'decorations' (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs, ID 13). 'in close distance' is unidiomatic; use 'from close up' (Incorrect use of prepositions, ID 11). 'take photo of poor structure' should be 'photograph ruined structures' and 'to record their' is incomplete and should be 'to record them' (Incorrect use of pronouns, ID 12). Suggestion: use 'decorations', 'from close up', 'photograph ruined structures', and 'record them'.

× I prefer views in Thailand where have dirty temple and palace which is absolutely grifting and have many complex decorations and always take a close up of the statue and pattern when I visit temple it can give me some ideas to make new artwork.

✓ I prefer views in Thailand, which has old temples and palaces that are absolutely breathtaking and have many intricate decorations. I always take close-up photos of statues and patterns when I visit temples because they give me ideas for new artwork.

Multiple errors mapped to list: sentence run-on and structure (Sentence structure errors, ID 26); missing subject and verb 'where have' should be 'which has' (There be issue, ID 3 and Incorrect use of pronouns, ID 12); 'dirty temple' likely wrong word—use 'old' or 'ancient' or 'ornate' (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs, ID 13); 'grifting' is incorrect word—use 'breathtaking' or 'grand' (ID 13); 'have many complex decorations' should be 'have many intricate decorations' (ID 13); 'take a close up of the statue and pattern' unidiomatic: 'take close-up photos of statues and patterns' (Verb + -ing form or noun forms, ID 8); 'when I visit temple' needs article 'a' or 'temples' (Article errors, ID 22). Suggestion: split into two sentences, use correct relative clause 'which has', choose appropriate adjectives ('old','ornate','breathtaking'), use 'close-up photos', and include articles/plural nouns 'temples'.