Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and accurate: begin with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, avoid hesitations and repetition, and use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'views' not 'webs'). Add one or two specific supporting details using linking words.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph city skylines and coastal landscapes because they help me remember special moments and notice interesting details like light and color.

提案: Answer directly and clearly: state your preference in one sentence, then give specific reasons using linking words (for example, 'because' or 'because of'). Use correct words ('urban'/'rural') and avoid unclear phrases.

例: I prefer rural areas because they offer varied colors and natural scenes. For instance, in the countryside I can photograph traditional houses and candid expressions of local people, which tell stories about their daily life.

提案: Be more fluent and specific: answer directly (e.g., 'I prefer foreign countries'), then support with concrete examples and linking words like 'because' and 'for example.' Replace vague phrases with precise nouns ('culture', 'architecture', 'daily life').

例: I prefer photographing views in other countries because I can capture different cultures and architectures. For example, traveling abroad lets me photograph historic streets, unique buildings and local festivals that reveal how people live.

× I enjoy taking pictures of different webs.

✓ I enjoy taking pictures of different views.

The student used 'webs' which is incorrect in this context; the intended noun is 'views'. This is an incorrect word choice and causes meaning error. Replace with the correct noun 'views' to match the question. Also ensure singular/plural is consistent: 'different views' is correct.

× It's my activity, uh, one of the activity, uh, to do it because, uh, I think it's a uh, uh, chance chance to umm, have memories for the future.

✓ It's one of my activities because I think it's a chance to have memories for the future.

Multiple issues: incorrect article usage ('one of the activity' should be 'one of my activities' — plural and possessive needed), redundancy ('chance chance'), and awkward sentence structure. Use plural 'activities' after 'one of', add possessive 'my', remove filler words, and simplify the sentence for clarity.

× I enjoy we've suffered Banaras because I like observe and you run.

✓ I enjoyed visiting Banaras because I like observing the streets and the people.

Original sentence has severe structure and word choice errors. 'we've suffered Banaras' is incorrect; likely meant 'I've visited Banaras' or 'I enjoyed Banaras'. Tense should match past experience: 'I enjoyed visiting Banaras'. Use gerund 'observing' after 'like'. 'you run' is meaningless here — replaced with 'the streets and the people' to convey observing urban activity.

× When you you observe run areas, you have a chance to see different colors, different buildings and lots of type of peoples emotions, clothing styles and.

✓ When you observe urban areas, you have a chance to see different colors, different buildings, and many types of people's emotions and clothing styles.

Errors: 'run areas' should be 'urban areas' (word choice). Remove duplicate 'you'. Use 'many types of' instead of 'lots of type of'. 'peoples' is incorrect possessive/ plural — use 'people's emotions'. Add commas and finish the list. This corrects preposition/possessive and plural forms and improves sentence structure.

× I would say, uh, foreign countries, uh, because umm, you see, uh, different styles of people, uh, people who are from, uh, who are foreigners and uh, you, they give you a chance to see other countries, history, uh, urban areas and how people, lifestyle.

✓ I would say foreign countries because you can see different styles of people, their history, urban areas, and lifestyles.

Simplify and correct structure: remove fillers, use 'you can see' (modal verb ability) rather than fragmented phrasing. 'People who are from, who are foreigners' is redundant — use 'people from other countries' or 'their'. Use plural 'lifestyles' and include 'their history' to show possession. This fixes tense consistency, word choice, article and plural forms, and overall sentence clarity.