Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Réduisez les répétitions et structurez la réponse en une ou deux phrases claires. Commencez par une phrase thème, puis donnez 1–2 détails concrets et evitez les hésitations. Par exemple, remplacez les répétitions (« I I », « I love » plusieurs fois) par des variantes et utilisez un mot de liaison pour la cohérence.

例: Yes — I enjoy taking photos because they preserve special moments. For example, I often take candid shots of friends when we gather, as these photos help me remember how I felt and the atmosphere of the occasion.

提案: Évitez les hésitations et les répétitions (« modern, uh, modern ») et clarifiez vos exemples avec un lien logique. Formulez une phrase d'opinion suivie d'un ou deux détails précis et cohérents pour renforcer l'argument.

例: I prefer urban views because I admire modern architecture and dramatic city skylines. For example, glass towers and elegant bridges often form striking compositions that I find visually exciting.

提案: Corrigez les erreurs de vocabulaire (par ex. « twins », « desserts ») et réduisez les hésitations. Donnez une opinion claire puis illustrez-la avec des exemples précis et un lien logique. Utilisez un vocabulaire approprié pour décrire la diversité paysagère et l'attrait culturel.

例: I prefer views from other countries because their landscapes are very diverse, from deserts and green oases to historic towns with rich heritage. For instance, I admire Japan and Greece for their well-preserved architecture and distinctive cultural atmospheres.

× Yes I do. I love taking pictures because they preserve moments, special moments so I can remember how I felt later for example I I photo. I often photograph friends when we gather and I love taking candid shots also I love.

✓ Yes, I do. I love taking pictures because they preserve special moments so I can remember how I felt later. For example, I often photograph friends when we gather, and I love taking candid shots.

The original contains run-on sentences, repetition ('I I photo'), and missing conjunctions or punctuation causing unclear clauses. Break long sentences into shorter ones, remove repeated words, add commas and conjunctions for clarity, and ensure each clause has a clear subject and verb. For improvement, practice writing or speaking one idea per sentence and use conjunctions like 'and' or punctuation to separate ideas.

× Although I love rural landscapes, I prefer views in urban areas because I admire modern, uh, modern architecture and dramatic city skylines. For example, uh glass towers and bridges create inter striking composite.

✓ Although I love rural landscapes, I prefer views in urban areas because I admire modern architecture and dramatic city skylines. For example, glass towers and bridges create an interesting composite.

The phrase had redundancy ('modern, uh, modern') and an incorrect adjective choice ('inter striking composite' is ungrammatical). Replace redundant words and choose appropriate adjectives; 'interesting composite' or 'striking composition' are correct. Also add the article 'an' before vowel-starting adjective. To improve, avoid filler words and choose collocations like 'striking composition'.

× I love twins, their scenery because it's very diverse, uh, from desserts and green Oasis to historical towns with, uh, rich heritage.

✓ I love countries; their scenery is very diverse, from deserts and green oases to historical towns with rich heritage.

The original uses 'twins' incorrectly instead of 'countries' and mixes pronoun references awkwardly. Also 'desserts' is a misspelling of 'deserts' and 'Oasis' should be plural 'oases' if referring generally. Use the correct noun and ensure pronouns clearly refer to that noun. For improvement, choose accurate nouns and check spelling of similar words.

× However, I increasingly admire uh, the architecture and cultural ambience of Japan and Greece because they are heavily invest in preserving and developing their space.

✓ However, I increasingly admire the architecture and cultural ambience of Japan and Greece because they have heavily invested in preserving and developing their spaces.

The original mixes present continuous adverb 'increasingly' with incorrect verb form 'are heavily invest'. Use the present perfect 'have invested' to show past actions with present relevance. Also use plural 'spaces' to match 'their'. For improvement, match auxiliary verbs and past participle for perfect tenses and ensure subject-verb agreement.