Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and focused: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar, and keep it under five sentences. Use linking words to explain why you enjoy taking pictures and give one specific example. Also correct unclear phrase "it will always just take Bimba" to convey the intended meaning.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because I enjoy capturing memories while I travel. For example, when I hike to a summit I take wide shots of the landscape and close-ups of interesting plants. Also, after free diving I photograph the underwater scenery to remind myself of the colours and textures. These photos help me relax when I look back at them.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence stating your preference, avoid repetition, and clarify the reason with specific supporting details. Use linking words (because, therefore, when) and complete your thought—explain what "it gives me comfort" means with an example. Keep it concise and grammatically correct.

例: I prefer rural views because I enjoy natural landscapes and fresh air. For example, seeing a quiet rice terrace after a long hike makes me feel peaceful and proud of the effort. Because of that, I often take photos to remember the sense of calm and achievement.

提案: Start with a clear, grammatical topic sentence stating your preference, then give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, and). Avoid filler phrases like "oh God" and redundant repetition. Mention one concrete example (a place or activity) to make the answer more vivid and specific.

例: I prefer the views in my own country, the Philippines, because the natural scenery and tropical coastline are unique. For example, the view from a summit after a hike at Mt. Pulag is incredibly soothing, and the underwater landscapes during free diving in Apo Reef are majestic. These experiences make home views more meaningful to me.

× I actually love traveling and I have a lot of pictures or photos in my gallery that I captured.

✓ I actually love traveling and I have a lot of pictures in my gallery that I have captured.

The original mixes simple past 'captured' with a present context. Use the present perfect 'have captured' to show past actions with relevance to the present (your gallery now). Also 'pictures or photos' is redundant; choose one term.

× Every time I hike, I swim, I free dive and I just love looking at them and it will always just take Bimba.

✓ Every time I hike, swim, or free dive, I love looking at them; it always takes me back.

Sentence has tense and phrasing issues. Use parallel structure for activities ('hike, swim, or free dive'). 'It will always just take Bimba' is ungrammatical and probably intended as 'takes me back' (memory). Use simple present 'takes' for habitual actions. Replace unclear 'Bimba' with appropriate phrase; here 'me back' restores meaning.

× I prefer the views in rural rural areas since I love nature like I told you and I love looking at them after years that it just gives me a little comfort that I achieve it especially after.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I love nature, and I enjoy looking at them years later because they give me comfort, especially after hard days.

Multiple errors: duplicate word 'rural rural'; 'since' is acceptable but 'because' is clearer; 'after years that it just gives me a little comfort that I achieve it' is ungrammatical. Use 'years later' to indicate time, and 'give me comfort' rather than 'gives me a little comfort that I achieve it.' Clarify 'especially after' by specifying 'after hard days' or similar context.

× Since I could at the board going to another country, I prefer the country of my own, the Philippines.

✓ Although I could board a plane to go to another country, I prefer my own country, the Philippines.

Original phrase 'could at the board going to another country' is incorrect. Use 'board a plane' or 'travel to another country'. 'Prefer the country of my own' is awkward; use 'prefer my own country.' This corrects preposition and word choice errors.

× I love the views, I love the nature in here, the air is really soothing and the view, oh God, the view is really relaxing especially after the hike on the summit and the free dive is also majestic.

✓ I love the views and the nature here; the air is really soothing, and the view is very relaxing, especially after a hike to the summit, and free diving is also majestic.

Fix preposition and article use: 'in here' should be 'here'; 'after the hike on the summit' should be 'after a hike to the summit'. Also streamline repetition 'the view, oh God, the view' to a single clause. Ensure parallel structure: 'a hike to the summit' and 'free diving'.