Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (e.g., "uh"), correct grammar (e.g., "I really enjoy taking photos of different views"), and give two short supporting details using linking words (e.g., "For example" or "Also"). Keep it under five sentences and use specific vocabulary like "landscape", "scenery", or "shots".

例: I really enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, I often visit the northern areas to capture landscapes and coastal scenery, which I later upload to social media. It relaxes me, and when I feel down I like to look at these photos to remember pleasant moments.

提案: Give a direct, grammatical topic sentence stating your preference, then add one or two clear reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use specific vocabulary (e.g., "cityscapes", "architecture", "parks") and concise explanations of why urban views appeal to you.

例: I prefer urban views because cityscapes and historic architecture offer varied and interesting photo subjects. For instance, I enjoy photographing skyline silhouettes at sunset and visiting parks or plazas with my family to capture lively street scenes.

提案: Answer the question directly, correct grammar ("I prefer views in my own country"), and provide a specific reason with a linking word. Mention a concrete example or memory to make your response more vivid and personal, and keep it within three sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because the northern region has spectacular landscapes that feel familiar and special to me. For example, I often go there with friends and family to hike and take photos, which helps us create lasting memories.

× Definitely, I like very much taking pictures of different views.

✓ I really like taking pictures of different views.

The original phrase 'I like very much taking...' is awkward and incorrect word order for expressing preference in present tense. Use 'I really like' + verb-ing for natural present tense preference. Replace 'very much' with 'really' before the verb phrase.

× Whenever I go, I go on to the northern areas, uh, I take very much pictures of scenery there and then I will upload to social media.

✓ Whenever I go to the northern areas, I take many pictures of the scenery there and then upload them to social media.

Problems: redundant 'go, I go on to' and incorrect quantifier 'very much pictures'. Use 'go to' and 'many pictures' (count noun). 'Scenery' is uncountable and needs 'the' or no plural. Also use consistent present simple for habitual actions: 'take' and 'upload' (not 'will upload').

× It relaxes me.

✓ They relax me.

Subject agreement: 'It' refers to plural 'pictures' so use plural pronoun 'they' and plural verb 'relax' to match. Use present simple for habitual effect.

× And also if I am sad, I will see these pictures and sceneries when I work.

✓ Also, if I am sad, I look at these pictures and the scenery while I am working.

Tense and word choice: 'will see' is not necessary for a habitual or conditional present; use present simple 'look at'. 'Sceneries' is incorrect—'scenery' is uncountable, so use 'the scenery' or 'these pictures of scenery'. Use 'while I am working' for simultaneous action.

× I like both but often I prefer urban areas because in urban areas there are many beautiful areas that we are much places visit with the family or with friends and this it is on these places enjoy a full over our views and we can go out.

✓ I like both, but I often prefer urban areas because there are many beautiful places to visit with family or friends, and in these places we can enjoy the views and go out.

Multiple errors: redundant and incorrect phrasing 'we are much places visit' should be 'places to visit'. Unnecessary words like 'this it is on these places enjoy a full over our views' are unclear; replace with 'in these places we can enjoy the views'. Use infinitive 'to visit' for purpose. Keep present simple for preference.

× I prefer my own country because in my in our country northern area, there's such a beautiful views and landscape there.

✓ I prefer my own country because the northern areas of our country have such beautiful views and landscapes.

Errors: 'in my in our country' is redundant; choose 'our country'. 'There's' (there is) is singular but followed by plural 'views'—use plural verb 'have' with plural subject 'northern areas' or rephrase. 'Such a beautiful views' mixes 'a' with plural—remove 'a' or make singular. Use present simple 'prefer' and 'have' for general truth.

× So I prefer my own country to visit these areas and go for friends and families and make memories with all of them.

✓ So I prefer to visit these areas in my own country, to go with friends and family and make memories with them.

Pronoun and preposition issues: 'prefer my own country to visit these areas' misorders infinitive—use 'prefer to visit these areas in my own country'. 'Go for friends and families' should be 'go with friends and family'. 'All of them' is unnecessary; use 'them' to refer to people. Use singular 'family' as a collective noun.