Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and articles (e.g., “taking pictures,” “a beautiful atmosphere,” “on my phone”). Avoid filler sounds and repetitive phrases.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because I love painting landscapes. For example, when I see an attractive scene, I take photos on my phone so I can use them later as references for my paintings.

提案: Give a clear direct answer then specific reasons with linking words. Use correct nouns and articles (e.g., “rural areas,” “urban areas,” “a lot of buildings”). Avoid vague phrases and hesitations. Limit to 2–3 sentences and provide a concrete example or comparison.

例: I prefer photographing rural areas because they offer simpler, more natural scenes. For instance, compared with crowded city streets, a countryside field has open spaces and fewer distractions, which suits the minimalist style I use in my paintings.

提案: Answer directly and give clear reasons with examples. Use accurate expressions (e.g., “other countries,” “explore different scenes,” “feelings are familiar,” “results aren’t as interesting”). Reduce repetition and hesitations, and keep sentences well-formed.

例: I prefer views in other countries because exploring different scenes inspires me creatively. For example, unfamiliar architecture or landscapes can give me fresh ideas for paintings, whereas scenes at home often feel too familiar and less inspiring.

× So I want to leave the beautiful atmosphere and my phone.

✓ So I want to capture the beautiful atmosphere with my phone.

The original uses 'leave' which creates an incorrect meaning and awkward structure. The speaker intends to record or capture the atmosphere using their phone. Use active verb 'capture' and preposition 'with' to indicate the instrument.

× Yes, I like taking picture different view because I love the painting and especially I like to paint scenery.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because I love painting and especially I like to paint scenery.

Plural forms are required: 'pictures' (plural) and 'views' (plural) when speaking generally. Also 'painting' as an uncountable noun without 'the' fits better than 'the painting' in this context.

× So yeah, usually when I see nice view, I taking a picture of the view.

✓ So yeah, usually when I see a nice view, I take a picture of it.

Present simple habit requires 'take' (not progressive 'taking') and the noun needs an article 'a' before 'nice view'. Replace the repeated 'the view' with 'it' to avoid redundancy.

× I prefer taking a picture rural area because urban area has a lot of city.

✓ I prefer taking pictures in rural areas because urban areas have a lot of buildings.

Use plural forms 'pictures' and 'rural areas' for general preference. Also 'urban areas have a lot of buildings' is a clearer, countable noun than 'a lot of city'. Use preposition 'in' before areas.

× But as I mentioned, I took a picture for my painting.

✓ But as I mentioned, I take pictures for my painting.

The preposition 'for' can be used, but tense should match habitual action: present simple 'take pictures'. Also plural 'pictures' is typical when speaking generally.

× So I don't like the complicated the drawing or painting because I like the some, uh, empty space as combination of the nature.

✓ So I don't like complicated drawings or paintings because I like some empty space as a combination with nature.

Remove unnecessary 'the' before 'complicated'. Use plural 'drawings or paintings'. 'Some' should not be preceded by 'the'. 'A combination with nature' requires article 'a' and clearer preposition 'with' or 'of'.

× So uh, I could feel differently, but my country is very used to feeling so I think the results doesn't good.

✓ So I could feel differently, but I am very used to my country, so I think the results aren't good.

Correction adjusts subject-verb agreement: 'results aren't good' instead of 'doesn't good'. Also rephrase 'very used to my country' to convey familiarity; original 'my country is very used to feeling' is ungrammatical.

× Uh yeah, I like the other country because I want to see more if I want to explore more other scene.

✓ Uh yeah, I like other countries because I want to see more and explore different scenes.

Use plural 'other countries' for general preference. Simplify and correct parallel structure: 'see more and explore different scenes'. Avoid unnecessary 'if' and duplicate 'more'.

× So uh, I could feel differently, but my country is very used to feeling so I think the results doesn't good. So I want to try unexpected view and paintings.

✓ So I could experience things differently, because I am so used to my country that I think the results would not be good. So I want to try unexpected views and painting subjects.

Original contains awkward structure and tense issues. 'Could feel differently' becomes 'experience things differently'. Use conditional 'would not be good' for expected result. Use plural 'views' and clarify 'painting subjects' for meaning.