Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Melhore a naturalidade e a correção gramatical. Use frases mais curtas e evite repetição. Por exemplo, corrija a forma verbal e a preposição: diga “to keep on my phone” ou “to print and put in an album”. Acrescente uma ligação simples para explicar porquê, por exemplo “because” ou “so that”.

例: Yes, I do. I like taking photos of different scenes to keep on my phone or to print and put in a photo album, because they help me remember special moments.

提案: Corrija a gramática e torne a resposta mais clara e concisa. Evite frases longas e contraditórias; use uma frase de tópico seguida de uma ou duas frases de suporte com ligações como “because” ou “for example”. Substitua palavras imprecisas como “business” por termos correctos como “activity” ou “life”.

例: It depends, but I prefer urban views because I enjoy photographing buildings and the busy street life in big cities. For example, I like capturing the contrast between old and modern architecture.

提案: Melhore a precisão léxica e elimine repetições. Use estruturas simples e ligadores como “because” e “for example” para justificar a opinião. Evite redundâncias como “Polaroids and my cameras” sem necessidade; escolha um termo. Também corrija concordância (“their” → “our” ou “the country’s”).

例: I prefer views in my own country because it helps me appreciate and preserve our natural landscapes. For example, when I visit Brazil I always bring a camera to capture moments and keep those memories.

× I enjoy taking pictures of different scenarios to keeping my phone or even to print out and putting my photo album.

✓ I enjoy taking pictures of different scenarios to keep on my phone or even to print out and put in my photo album.

Incorrect use of verb + -ing: after 'to' the base form (infinitive) should be used, not the -ing form. Use 'to keep', 'to print', and 'to put' or maintain parallel structure with gerunds: 'keeping...printing...putting'. Suggestion: choose one pattern and keep verbs parallel: either use infinitives after 'to' or gerunds after 'enjoy' + noun phrase. Grammar problem type ID: 8

× I guess that is a memorable way to keep the memory alive and always to show your friends.

✓ I guess that it is a memorable way to keep memories alive and always show them to your friends.

Incorrect word choice and adverb placement: 'memory' should be plural when referring generally; 'always to show your friends' is unidiomatic—use 'always show them to your friends'. Also replace 'that is' with 'it is' for clarity. Suggestion: use plural 'memories' and place 'always' before the verb. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× Both places have its own reasons why it should be praised, but personally I like to take pictures of buildings and the business in the crowded areas such as big cities, So in that way I cannot admire the chaotic environment in those buildings.

✓ Both places have their own reasons why they should be praised, but personally I like to take pictures of buildings and businesses in crowded areas such as big cities, so in that way I can admire the chaotic environment of those buildings.

Subject-verb/pronoun agreement and noun form: 'Both places' is plural, so use plural possessive 'their' not 'its', and plural pronoun 'they' not 'it'. 'Business' should be plural 'businesses' when referring to multiple commercial activities or shops. Capitalization: 'So' should not be capitalized mid-sentence. Also 'cannot admire' contradicts intended meaning; likely 'can admire'. Suggestion: match plural subjects with plural pronouns and nouns, and check sentence logic. Grammar problem type ID:27

× I enjoy national views because it's a good way to praise and preserve their natural areas.

✓ I enjoy national views because it's a good way to praise and preserve our country's natural areas.

Incorrect use of pronouns: 'their' is unclear when referring back to 'national views' or 'my country'—use 'our country's' or 'the country's' for clarity. Suggestion: choose a clear antecedent; if speaking about one's own nation, use 'our' or 'my country's'. Grammar problem type ID:12

× One example is that every time I go to Brazil, I like to take my Polaroids and my cameras with me so that way I can capture every moment and keep the memories with me.

✓ For example, every time I go to Brazil I like to take my Polaroid camera with me so that I can capture every moment and keep the memories.

Article and noun form: 'Polaroids and my cameras' is awkward and repetitive—use singular 'Polaroid camera' or 'Polaroid cameras' consistently. 'So that way' is redundant; 'so that' or 'so' suffices. Also remove the final redundant 'with me'. Suggestion: simplify and avoid repetition, maintain consistent number and clear phrasing. Grammar problem type ID:22