Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and some grammar errors (e.g. ‘I do different views’ → ‘I like photographing different views’; ‘I look through my phones to find those movements’ → unclear).

例: Yes, I love photographing different views. For example, when I visit scenic spots I take wide shots of landscapes and close-ups of interesting details, and later I review them on my phone to relive those moments. This habit makes me happy because photos preserve memories.

提案: Clarify and correct vocabulary and grammar, and give a balanced comparison with coherent linking. Use specific examples and avoid unclear phrases like ‘sky captives’ and incomplete ending. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: It depends — I enjoy both urban and rural views. In cities I like photographing skyscrapers and dramatic skylines because of their geometry, while in the countryside I prefer sunsets over farmland, especially when the sky turns pink and blue. Both settings offer different moods and photo opportunities.

提案: Make the answer more direct and correct small grammar mistakes. State preference clearly and give one specific example of a memorable view, using linking words to explain why you prefer it. Avoid redundant phrasing.

例: I especially prefer views I saw in Canada because they felt unique to me. For instance, during my studies there I photographed mountain lakes framed by pine trees; when I look at those pictures now, they remind me of calm, cold mornings and the strong sense of place I felt.

× Honestly, I do different views, breathtaking views actually fascinates me, so I make sure I capture those moments and later on when I have ample time on myself, I look through.

✓ Honestly, I enjoy photographing different views; breathtaking views actually fascinate me, so I make sure I capture those moments and later, when I have ample free time, I look through them.

Problems: subject-verb agreement ('views ... fascinates' should be 'views ... fascinate'), wrong verb choice ('do different views' is unnatural; use 'enjoy photographing different views'), awkward phrase 'time on myself' and missing object for 'look through'. Suggestions: use 'photograph' or 'take pictures of' for the activity, match plural subject with plural verb, replace 'time on myself' with 'free time', and include the object 'them' for 'look through'.

× I look through my phones to find those movements and live it through the pictures.

✓ I look through my phone to find those moments and relive them through the pictures.

Problems: plural 'phones' should likely be singular 'phone' or 'phones' consistently, 'movements' is wrong word for scenes or moments, 'live it through' is incorrect — use 'relive them'. Suggestions: use 'phone' or 'phones' consistently, 'moments' instead of 'movements', and 'relive them' to express experiencing memories again.

× It actually makes me really happy how a small camera can hold so many memories.

✓ It actually makes me really happy that a small camera can hold so many memories.

Problem: sentence is understandable but more natural to use 'that' to introduce the clause; otherwise grammar is acceptable. Suggestion: replace 'how' with 'that' for clarity.

× To be completely honest, it depends. There are days when I really appreciate the sky captives we have in the cities.

✓ To be completely honest, it depends. There are days when I really appreciate the sky views we have in the cities.

Problems: 'sky captives' is incorrect vocabulary — likely meant 'sky views' or 'cityscapes'. Suggestions: use 'sky views', 'cityscapes', or 'the skyline' to convey the idea.

× The high buildings, the tall buildings actually fascinates me so I make sure I capture them.

✓ The high buildings, the tall buildings actually fascinate me, so I make sure I capture them.

Problem: subject-verb agreement — plural subject 'buildings' requires plural verb 'fascinate' not 'fascinates'. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with plural subject and add a comma before 'so'.

× But there are times when I'm exploring rural areas and I'm in the middle of farm able to sit see the blue pink sunset, which really makes me.

✓ But there are times when I'm exploring rural areas and I am in the middle of a farm, able to sit and see the pink and blue sunset, which really moves me.

Problems: missing article 'a' before 'farm', missing conjunctions 'and' between verbs, awkward word order 'sit see', and incomplete ending 'which really makes me' (needs object or adjective). Suggestions: add 'a', insert 'and' between actions, reorder colors as 'pink and blue sunset' (or 'blue-pink' with hyphen), and finish with emotion 'moves me' or 'makes me happy'.

× That's an interesting question. I love views in Canada. Back in Canada, when I was completing my education, I was lucky enough to witness some breathtaking views.

✓ That's an interesting question. I love the views in Canada. Back in Canada, when I was completing my education, I was lucky enough to witness some breathtaking views.

Problem: minor article usage — 'views in Canada' is acceptable but 'the views in Canada' is slightly more natural. Tense usage is correct. Suggestion: add 'the' for natural phrasing.

× I made sure that I was I would capture them in my camera.

✓ I made sure that I captured them with my camera.

Problems: redundant and incorrect auxiliary sequence 'I was I would capture' — unclear and ungrammatical. Also use 'with my camera' rather than 'in my camera'. Suggestions: simplify to past tense 'I captured' or 'I made sure I captured them with my camera'.

× Until today, when I miss my life back in Canada, I look through the pictures.

✓ Even today, when I miss my life back in Canada, I look through the pictures.

Problems: 'Until today' is incorrect in this context; use 'Even today' or 'To this day'. Tense and verb 'miss' and 'look' are fine in present simple. Suggestion: replace 'Until today' with 'Even today' or 'To this day' for correct meaning and natural phrasing.