Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., 'I like taking pictures of different views,' not 'I do like the pictures of taking different views').

例: I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially sunsets. For example, the warm red and yellow tones of the sky energize me and create dramatic photos. Also, during the rainy season I capture busy streets and wet reflections, which add mood to my shots.

提案: Give a direct answer first and support it with specific reasons using linking words. Keep sentences complete and avoid trailing off. Replace vague phrases like 'efficiency of mine increases' with clearer ideas (e.g., 'I feel more relaxed' or 'I take better photos').

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are more natural and peaceful. For example, the green trees, open fields and river scenes make photos look elegant, and I feel more relaxed, which helps me take better pictures.

提案: Answer directly and give specific, organized reasons. Use linking words (for instance, 'for example' or 'also') and avoid vague or broken phrases like 'also big only.' Mention concrete examples of places or features and explain how seasons change the scenery.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it has diverse and beautiful landscapes. For example, our mountain waterfalls, traditional crafts in villages, and lush green forests offer striking photo subjects; furthermore, seasonal changes—such as dramatic monsoon skies and bright summer colors—create varied atmospheres.

× Yes, I do like the pictures of taking different views like sunsets, the warm colors and the sky, the reddish, The yellowish color makes me energized when I look at them.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, such as sunsets, because the warm colors in the sky, like reddish and yellowish tones, make me feel energized when I look at them.

Original sentence had awkward adjective/adverb usage and repetition ('do like the pictures of taking different views') and inconsistent capitalization. Improve clarity by using 'like taking pictures of different views' and 'such as' for examples. Use 'make me feel energized' for correct adjective+verb construction. Also fix capitalization.'

× And sometimes the rainy season at the time rain comes lots of people in my area.

✓ And sometimes during the rainy season, when it rains, there are lots of people in my area.

Original sentence had poor word order and missing auxiliary 'there are' to indicate existence. Reorder to 'during the rainy season' and use 'when it rains' and 'there are lots of people' to form a grammatical sentence.'

× I basically like rural areas view and because they are so natural, the leaves, the trees, the green tree over there which you know makes the pictures look so elegant.

✓ I basically like views of rural areas because they are so natural: the leaves and trees, especially the green trees, make the pictures look very elegant.

Original had adjective and noun order errors ('rural areas view') and unnecessary filler ('which you know'). Use 'views of rural areas' and plural 'trees' and replace 'so elegant' with 'very elegant' for natural emphasis.'

× The efficiency of mine increases at the time when I.

✓ My efficiency increases at certain times.

Original sentence is incomplete and ungrammatical ('when I.'). Provide a complete, concise sentence: 'My efficiency increases at certain times.' If more detail is intended, add the activity (for example, 'when I take photos').

× I would prefer the views of my country, also big only because it's so beautiful.

✓ I would prefer the views of my country, partly because it is so beautiful.

Original contains unclear phrase 'also big only' and informal structure. Replace with 'partly because' or 'especially because' and use 'it is' for clarity.'

× The rich heritage, the crafts, the green tree, the waterfalls on the mountains make the pictures look so elegant.

✓ The rich heritage, crafts, green trees, and waterfalls on the mountains make the pictures look very elegant.

Original had singular 'the green tree' where plural 'green trees' fits with other plural nouns. Also remove extra 'the' before some nouns and change 'so elegant' to 'very elegant' for natural phrasing.'

× The rainy season, the summer season, everything looks differently.

✓ In the rainy season and in the summer, everything looks different.

Original used adverb 'differently' incorrectly; after 'looks' use the adjective 'different' not the adverb. Also adjust article use and preposition: 'in the rainy season' and 'in the summer.'