Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds and repetitions, and use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'scenery' not 'sceneries'). Add one specific detail about a memorable photo to enrich the answer and use a linking phrase to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos when I travel. I especially like capturing breathtaking landscapes because they remind me of the places I’ve visited, and I often share my best shots with friends and family online. For example, last year I photographed a sunrise over a mountain range, which still reminds me of that trip.

提案: Organize into a clear topic sentence and supporting details; remove fillers and repetitions. Use linking words (because, and, for example) and provide specific images or reasons why you prefer rural views (quiet, nature, cleaner air). Correct grammar: singular/plural and articles (a rural area, skyscrapers). Keep to 2–4 sentences maximum.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I enjoy peaceful natural scenery. For example, I love seeing rolling hills, calm rivers and small houses tucked into the landscape, which feel much more relaxing than busy city streets and skyscrapers.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and avoid repetition. Use linking words to explain why (for example, because) and include one specific example of a region or landscape you want to photograph. Fix repetition ('has a diverse' twice) and improve sentence flow.

例: I prefer visiting places in my own country because India is very large and offers a wide variety of cultures and landscapes. For example, I want to photograph the deserts of Rajasthan and the tea gardens of Assam to capture how different regions look and feel.

× Yes, I'd like to take pictures of when I'm traveling.

✓ Yes, I'd like to take pictures when I'm traveling.

Remove the unnecessary 'of' before 'when'. 'Like to take pictures when I'm traveling' correctly uses the verb phrase 'take pictures' followed by a time clause starting with 'when'. Keep verb tense present continuous for ongoing action (I'm traveling).

× I like to capture the breathtaking views and S sceneries so it reminds me of the places that I've been to and also like to share these pics with my friends and family online.

✓ I like to capture breathtaking views and sceneries because they remind me of the places I've been to, and I also like to share these pictures with my friends and family online.

Remove the stray 'S' and change 'so it reminds' to 'because they remind' to match plural subject 'views and sceneries'. Use 'pictures' instead of 'pics' for formal correctness. Ensure pronoun agreement: 'they remind' refers to plural 'views and sceneries'. Combine clauses with a comma and conjunction for clarity.

× In my personal opinion, I prefer views from rural area.

✓ In my personal opinion, I prefer views from rural areas.

Use the plural 'areas' after 'rural' because 'rural area' in general statements should be plural or use the article 'a' for singular. Here 'rural areas' is more natural when speaking about rural settings in general.

× Uh, I'm not really big fan of congested buildings and sky sky skyscrapers.

✓ Uh, I'm not really a big fan of congested buildings and skyscrapers.

Add the article 'a' before 'big fan' and remove the duplicated word 'sky'. 'Skyscrapers' already implies tall buildings, so 'sky' repetition is unnecessary. This fixes the noun phrase structure.

× But I definitely and for a beautiful view of a a breathtaking hill and a calm river and the house that is in.

✓ But I definitely prefer a beautiful view, like a breathtaking hill, a calm river, and a house nearby.

Original sentence is fragmented and contains superfluous words and duplication ('a a'). Replace 'definitely and for' with 'definitely prefer' to complete the verb requirement. Reorder and simplify the list of features and add 'nearby' to make 'the house that is in' grammatical and clear.

× I prefer to visit places in my country.

✓ I prefer visiting places in my country.

Both 'prefer to visit' and 'prefer visiting' are possible; here 'prefer visiting' sounds more natural with continuous preference. This aligns the gerund form after 'prefer' when describing a general habit.

× So as India is really large and has a diverse and has a diverse area of culture and the landscapes, I would like to explore all the places here and capture them.

✓ Since India is really large and has diverse cultures and landscapes, I would like to explore many places here and photograph them.

Remove repeated phrase 'has a diverse and has a diverse'. Use 'diverse cultures and landscapes' for correct noun phrases. Replace 'So as' with 'Since' for a causal link. 'Explore many places' is more natural than 'explore all the places', and 'photograph' is a clearer verb than 'capture' in this context.