Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 自然で効果的な英語にするために、時制の一貫性、語順、語法の誤りを直し、簡潔な話し方を心がけてください。具体的には、過去形と現在形を混同しない（例えば “I took” → “I take” または “I take photos whenever I visit a place”）、形容詞や動詞の使い方を正しくする（“I'm exciting” は誤りで “I'm excited” または “I enjoy” を使用）、文を結ぶ際に接続語（because, so, and）を適切に使って短く明瞭に述べる練習をしてください。また回答は最大5文に収め、重複を避けて具体例を一つ加えると良いでしょう。

例: Yes, I love taking photos whenever I travel. I usually take a few pictures and show them to my family and friends. I’m excited to share interesting scenes with them because they enjoy seeing new places. For example, I often photograph local markets or cityscapes to show the atmosphere of the place.

提案: 主題文を明確にし、文法と語順の修正を行い、具体的な説明を短く続けてください。例えば “urban area” は複数形や冠詞の扱いに注意（“in urban areas” または “in the city”）。接続語（for example, because, so）を使い、例を自然に結びつけること。さらに観察の具体性（何が好きか、どの時間帯か、どの場所か）を一つ加えると説得力が増します。

例: I prefer urban areas because there are many sights and activities. For example, in my city Kobe, you can climb a nearby mountain and enjoy a stunning night view of the city lights. The variety of shops and cafes also makes urban views more interesting to photograph.

提案: 意図は伝わりますが、語の重複と文法（複数形や不定詞の使い方）を改善してください。例えば “which which” の削除、冠詞と複数形（many country → many countries）、および流暢さのために接続詞や理由の表現（because / since）を用いること。1文目で結論を示し、2〜3文で理由と具体例を述べると良いです。

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy seeing places I haven’t experienced before. Although Japan has many beautiful sights, I want to travel to different countries to discover new cultures and landscapes. For example, I’d like to visit Morocco to photograph colorful markets and unique architecture.

× Yes, Wherever I visit, I took.

✓ Yes. Wherever I visit, I take pictures.

The student mixed past and present tenses and used an incomplete verb phrase. The phrase 'Wherever I visit' implies a habitual action, so the present simple 'I take' is correct. Also, 'took' is past and doesn't match 'wherever I visit.' Combine into a clear present-tense sentence: 'Whenever I visit a place, I take pictures.' Use 'whenever' rather than 'wherever' for more natural English.

× I take some pictures then and show them to my family and my friends.

✓ I take some pictures and then show them to my family and my friends.

Word order and adverb placement: 'then' should come after the verb it modifies or as 'and then show.' Use present simple for habitual action. The corrected sentence uses natural adverb placement: 'take some pictures and then show them.'

× I'm exciting to take pictures and show them because I like to show something to people.

✓ I'm excited to take pictures and show them because I like to share things with people.

Confusion between adjective 'excited' (feeling) and present participle 'exciting' (causing excitement). The student needs the adjective 'excited.' Also 'show something to people' is awkward; 'share things with people' is more natural. Use 'I'm excited' to express the student's feeling.

× I prefer views in urban area because there are a lot of things to see.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas because there are a lot of things to see.

Countable noun 'area' should be plural when speaking generally about urban settings. Use 'urban areas' for general preference. Matches plural 'things.'

× For example, in my town, in my city, Kobe, if you climb a mountain local, you can see the very beautiful night view.

✓ For example, in my town and city, Kobe, if you climb a local mountain, you can see a very beautiful night view.

Word order and article use: 'mountain local' is incorrect — adjective should precede noun: 'local mountain.' Use 'a very beautiful night view' or simply 'a beautiful night view.' Also combine 'town' and 'city' more naturally with 'and.'

× I prefer views in other countries.

✓ I prefer views in other countries.

This sentence is grammatically correct as written and matches the present-tense preference context. No change needed.

× Of course in Japan there are a lot of beautiful things, but I prefer the things which which I have never seen before.

✓ Of course, in Japan there are a lot of beautiful things, but I prefer things that I have never seen before.

Avoid repeating 'which which.' Use 'that' or 'which' once; 'that' is more natural in defining clauses. Also omit 'the' before 'things' when speaking generally: 'prefer things that I have never seen before.'

× So I I want to visit many country and to see many things.

✓ So I want to visit many countries and see many things.

Use plural 'countries' with 'many.' Remove duplicate 'I.' Also drop the infinitive 'to' before the second verb when using parallel structure: 'visit many countries and see many things.'