Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitation and filler words, give a clear topic sentence then one specific detail with linking phrase. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences) and use slightly more varied vocabulary (e.g., landscapes, scenery).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially landscapes when I travel. For example, I like capturing coastal sunsets because the colors change rapidly, and I can share the best shots on Instagram to show my friends the places I visit.

提案: Start with a clear direct statement of preference, avoid repetition and hesitations, and provide one or two specific reasons connected with examples using linking words (because, for example).

例: I prefer rural views because I enjoy the tranquility and natural scenery. For example, I love photographing mountain ranges and open fields since they offer dramatic skies and peaceful compositions.

提案: Give a definite answer rather than 'I don't know', then support it with specific reasons and examples. Remove irrelevant detail (e.g., 'in my car') and use linking words (however, also) to compare domestic and foreign views.

例: I prefer taking photos in other countries because different cultures and architectures provide unique photo opportunities. However, I also enjoy photographing local spots, such as historic districts and coastal areas, because they are convenient to visit and still offer interesting subjects.

× I like taking, uh, photos, especially when I'm uh, traveling. Also, it's uh, my hobby because I can share them in Instagram with my friends.

✓ I like taking photos, especially when I'm traveling. Also, it's my hobby because I can share them on Instagram with my friends.

Use of preposition: English uses 'on Instagram' not 'in Instagram'. Also remove filler 'uh' and an extra comma for fluency. Suggestion: practice collocations with social media like 'on Instagram', 'on Facebook' and avoid filler words in formal answers.

× To be honest, I'm a more rural a rural person because in the I don't like the urban areas and so I would like rural areas, for example mountains or some fields.

✓ To be honest, I'm more of a rural person because I don't like urban areas, so I prefer rural places, for example mountains or fields.

Multiple sentence structure issues: redundant words ('a more rural a rural'), incorrect phrase 'in the I don't like', and awkward clause order. Corrections: use 'more of a rural person' or 'a more rural person', remove extra articles before general nouns ('urban areas' not 'the urban areas'), and use 'prefer rural places' for clarity. Suggestion: simplify sentences, remove repetition, and keep subject and verb close.

× Uh, to be honest, I don't know, but uh, in, in my car, there is a lot of different places where I can take, uh, amazing pictures and also in, uh, broad cultures also I can take pictures.

✓ To be honest, I'm not sure, but in my country there are many different places where I can take amazing pictures, and in other cultures I can also take pictures.

Preposition and noun choice errors: 'in my car' is incorrect for 'in my country'; 'a lot of different places' is better as 'many different places'; 'broad cultures' is unclear—use 'other cultures'. Also remove filler 'uh' and fix word order for clarity. Suggestion: choose correct location words (country vs car), use 'many' for countable plural nouns, and place adverbs like 'also' appropriately.