Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix sentence fragments and word choice (e.g., "unsports" -> "unsurpassed" or better: "serene").

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially natural landscapes. For example, I often photograph mountains and lakes because their serene atmosphere relaxes me; then I edit the images and share them online or display them in local photography exhibitions.

提案: Give a direct answer and one clear reason with a linking word. Correct grammar (e.g., "I feel peacefully" -> "I feel peaceful") and avoid repetition of the same idea. Keep to two or three sentences maximum.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they make me feel peaceful. For instance, quiet fields and forests help me relax after a busy week, and I enjoy photographing their natural colors and textures.

提案: Answer directly, then give a specific example and one reason using linking words. Remove redundancy and awkward phrasing (e.g., "all over the all over"). Use concrete places or activities to support your point.

例: I prefer views in my own country, Iran, because it offers diverse landscapes close to home. For example, I often visit the Alborz mountains and coastal areas to hike and take photos, which helps me unwind and recharge.

× I especially enjoy photographing natural landscapes because I found unsports scenery very peaceful and I often take photos to edit and share them online and and sometimes as as I'm very interested in taking photo I I participate in some special and exhibition I mean photography.

✓ I especially enjoy photographing natural landscapes because I find unspoiled scenery very peaceful, and I often take photos to edit and share online. Sometimes, because I'm very interested in photography, I participate in special exhibitions.

Errors: 'found' is past tense but the context is a general preference, so present simple 'find' is correct (Present tense issue, ID 6). 'unsports' is not a word; likely intended 'unspoiled' (Incorrect use of adjectives, ID 13). Repeated words 'and and', 'as as', and filler 'I I' are disfluent; remove extras (Sentence structure errors, ID 26). 'taking photo' is singular count noun missing article; use 'photography' or 'taking photos' (Article/word choice issues, ID 22 and 13). 'special and exhibition' is incorrect order and articles; correct to 'special exhibitions'. Suggestions: use present simple for habitual feelings, choose correct adjective 'unspoiled', remove duplicate words, use plural 'photos' or the noun 'photography', and split into clearer sentences for readability.

× Absolutely. I lo, I would love rural areas because in these places I really feel peacefully and these sceneries give me a sense of peaceful and pleasure and I really enjoy these landscapes and it's incredibly enjoyable.

✓ Absolutely. I would love rural areas because in those places I really feel peaceful, and the scenery gives me a sense of peace and pleasure. I really enjoy these landscapes; it's incredibly enjoyable.

Errors: 'I lo,' is a fragment/filler—remove it (Sentence structure errors, ID 26). 'I really feel peacefully' uses adverb 'peacefully' where adjective 'peaceful' describing the subject is needed (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs, ID 13). 'these sceneries' is nonstandard; 'scenery' is uncountable (Singular and plural issue, ID 1 and Article errors, ID 22). 'a sense of peaceful' should be 'a sense of peace' (Incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs, ID 13). Suggestions: use 'peaceful' to describe feeling, use 'scenery' or 'landscapes' correctly, and simplify sentences to avoid repetition.

× Actually my country, I mean Iran and there are a lot of landscapes that I really enjoy seeing and view them and all over the all over the country, there are a lot of natural areas that you can go and enjoy and unwind and relax and recharge and have.

✓ Actually, my country, I mean Iran. There are a lot of landscapes that I really enjoy seeing and viewing, and all over the country there are many natural areas where you can go to enjoy, unwind, relax, and recharge.

Errors: Run-on and mixed verb forms create awkwardness (Sentence structure errors, ID 26). 'I really enjoy seeing and view them' mixes verb forms; use parallel 'seeing and viewing' or better 'seeing and exploring' (Verb form consistency, related to Present tense issue, ID 6 and Verb + -ing form, ID 8). 'all over the all over the country' is repetition—remove duplicate (Sentence structure error, ID 26). 'a lot of' repeated—use 'many' for variety (Incorrect use of quantifiers, ID 14). The final 'and have' is incomplete and unnecessary—remove it. Suggestions: split into shorter sentences, maintain parallel verb forms, avoid repetition, and use appropriate quantifiers.