Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (uh), correct small grammar issues (plural/singular), and add one specific detail or example using a linking word. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views and scenery; it’s one of my hobbies. For example, I often take pictures of coastal sunsets because the changing colors help me relax and reduce stress.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and then one or two specific reasons with clear linking words. Remove repetition and fillers, and use correct noun forms (e.g., "photographing nature" not "photographing of nature").

例: I prefer rural areas because I love photographing nature. For instance, I enjoy capturing the vivid greens of grasses and the rich tones of soil, which create striking contrasts in my photos.

提案: Answer directly, correct grammar ("other countries" plural; avoid "that’s like"), and give a specific reason or example with a linking word. Keep sentences concise and fluent, and reduce hesitation words.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy traveling to new places. For example, visiting Japan allowed me to photograph traditional landscapes and cityscapes, which felt very different and inspiring compared to my home country.

× I really like taking a picture from different views and scenery and it's one of my, actually, it's one of my hobbies.

✓ I really like taking pictures of different views and scenery; it's actually one of my hobbies.

The verb 'like' is correctly followed by a gerund, but 'a picture' should be plural 'pictures' to match 'different views'. Use 'of' not 'from' when describing photographing subjects. Also restructure to avoid repetition: place 'actually' before 'one of my hobbies' and join clauses with a semicolon for clarity.

× It really makes me feel, uh, relaxed and release, uh, stress.

✓ It really makes me feel relaxed and release stress.

Use parallel verb forms: 'feel relaxed' is correct; 'release stress' is acceptable but more natural is 'relieve stress.' Alternatively use 'helps me relax and relieve stress.' Remove filler pauses.

× I really like photographing of nature, uh, because the colors of different, uh, for example, uh, grasses and uh, the color of soil, the color of grasses.

✓ I really like photographing nature because of the different colors, for example of grass and soil.

Do not use 'photographing of nature' — use 'photographing nature.' 'Grasses' is usually 'grass' in this context. Avoid redundant repetition 'the color of grasses' and 'the color of soil'; combine into 'colors of grass and soil.'

× I prefer different views of the other country because I'm the person that's like, uh, visiting different places and it's so fascinating for me to, uh, travel to other country and see their different views.

✓ I prefer the views of other countries because I like visiting different places, and it's so fascinating for me to travel to other countries and see their different views.

Use plural 'other countries' when speaking generally; use the definite article 'the views' or simply 'views of other countries.' 'Travel to other country' is incorrect — use 'travel to other countries.' Also remove filler 'that's like' and ensure pronoun agreement with plural 'countries' ('their').