Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid filler words (umm, yeah) and unclear phrases ("help are just memories"). Use varied vocabulary like "landscapes" or "scenes."

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. Photography is one of my hobbies, and I often post landscape photos on my social media because they capture special memories. For example, I like taking sunrise shots that show the colors and atmosphere of a place.

提案: Clarify your preference and give reasons with linking words. State a clear topic sentence (urban or rural), then explain why with specific examples. Avoid repeating and vague phrases like "pleasant scenery" without details.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the energy and architecture of cities. For instance, city skylines and historic buildings offer interesting shapes and lights, which I find more inspiring for photography than open farmland. However, I sometimes appreciate rural scenes for peaceful nature shots.

提案: Provide a direct answer and support it with specific reasons and examples. Reduce hesitation (umm) and correct grammar (e.g., "people photography" → "many photographers"). Mention particular features (mountains, landscapes) to be more concrete.

例: I prefer views in my own country, Nepal, because of its dramatic mountain landscapes. Many photographers come to Nepal specifically to capture the Himalayas, terraced hills, and traditional villages, which offer unique and breathtaking photo opportunities.

× I do like taking pictures of different views.

✓ I do like taking pictures of different views.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses the verb + -ing form 'taking' after 'like'. Keep emphasis 'do like' for contrast if intended.

× Umm taking pictures is also one of my hobbies and I love to take pictures and post on my social media and also there's different views.

✓ Taking pictures is one of my hobbies; I love taking photos and posting them on my social media, and I enjoy capturing different views.

Original sentence is run-on and unclear. I combined clauses, used consistent verb forms ('taking photos' not 'take pictures') and added object 'them' for 'posting' to clarify. Use punctuation or connectors to avoid run-on sentences.

× Also help are just memories so yeah.

✓ They also help me preserve memories.

Original is ungrammatical: 'help are just memories' is incorrect structure. Use a clear subject 'They' referring to photos, verb 'help', and object 'preserve memories'. This fixes subject-verb relationship and meaning.

× I love, I prefer views in urban areas umm, as much as I pref I like love rural areas umm.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas, although I also like rural areas.

Original mixes tenses and words ('pref', 'like love') and is disfluent. Use simple present 'prefer' and 'like' for habitual preferences. Remove filler words and duplicate verbs for clarity.

× It is a bit of an unpleasant scene and I would love to see more of like a pleasant scenery and I think urban areas are.

✓ I sometimes find rural scenes unpleasant, and I would prefer to see more pleasant scenery, so I think urban areas are better for me.

Original ends abruptly and uses 'scenery' incorrectly with 'a'. Rephrase to express contrast: specify subject ('rural scenes'), correct article use ('pleasant scenery' without 'a'), and complete the comparison ('urban areas are better for me').

× Umm, I've lived and went to a lot of countries and I must say Nepal has the best view.

✓ I've lived in and visited many countries, and I must say Nepal has the best views.

Use present perfect 'I've lived in' and 'visited' (past participle) rather than mixing 'lived' with simple past 'went'. 'Visited' pairs with 'have'. Also use plural 'views' for general observation.

× Umm a lot of people photography, so photographers also come to Nepal just to take pictures.

✓ Many people are interested in photography, so photographers come to Nepal just to take pictures.

'A lot of people photography' is incorrect noun usage. Use 'are interested in photography' or 'like photography'. Simplify 'also come' to 'come' for clarity.

× And I think Nepal's views are N very beautiful and their nature is very good.

✓ I think Nepal's views are very beautiful and its natural scenery is excellent.

Remove stray 'N', correct agreement: 'Nepal's views' with 'its' (not 'their') when referring to the country, and choose natural collocations ('natural scenery is excellent').