Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Говорите более естественно и избегайте неуклюжих словосочетаний (например, «citizens» вместо «cityscapes»). Сформулируйте тему предложения чётко, затем добавьте одно или два конкретных подробных примера. Упростите и разнообразьте лексику: используйте «cityscapes», «landscapes», «memories», «travel» и свяжите идеи с помощью союзов («because», «for example»). Также избегайте лишних слов вроде «Well» в начале каждого ответа.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. I especially like landscapes and cityscapes because they’re visually varied and remind me of places I’ve visited; for example, I often take pictures of coastal cliffs and historic streets when I travel.

提案: Сильный ответ, но можно сделать его немного короче и разнообразнее лексически. Начните с прямого утверждения, затем добавьте одно связанное пояснение и конкретный пример. Используйте связки («because», «for instance», «which helps») для гладкости. Избегайте повторяющегося «Well» и старайтесь не превышать 3–4 предложений.

例: I prefer rural views because they’re quieter and full of greenery, which helps me unwind. For instance, I often walk through nearby fields and woodlands at weekends to relax after a busy week.

提案: Ответ содержит хорошие идеи, но звучит немного расплывчато из‑за повторений («I like to take photos» и «I prefer»). Сократите и структурируйте: одно предложение с основной мыслью, одно с причиной и одно с контрастным замечанием о путешествиях. Избегайте вводных слов как «So well» и используйте более точные формулировки («familiar», «accessible», «abroad»).

例: I prefer views in my own country because they feel familiar and are easy to visit; for example, I often go to nearby mountains to relax and take photos. However, I also enjoy photographing new landscapes when I travel abroad because they offer fresh perspectives.

× Also I enjoy landscapes and citizens because they are beautiful and they remind me of places I visited.

✓ Also I enjoy landscapes and city scenes because they are beautiful and they remind me of places I have visited.

The word 'citizens' refers to people, not to images of urban areas; 'city scenes' or 'cities' is correct. Also the present perfect 'have visited' is more appropriate to connect past visits to the present. Suggestion: use 'city scenes' or 'cities' and use present perfect when past experience relates to the present.

× For example, I enjoy walking near fields and trees on weekends and it helps me relax after a busy week.

✓ For example, I enjoy walking near fields and trees on weekends, and it helps me to relax after a busy week.

A comma before 'and' improves sentence clarity. Adding 'to' in 'helps me to relax' is optional in English but often used; keeping the infinitive 'to relax' is slightly more natural. Suggestion: include the comma and consider 'helps me to relax' for smoother flow.

× So well, I prefer views in my own country because they are familiar and I feel connected to them and it's easy to visit my favorite places.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because they are familiar, I feel connected to them, and it is easy to visit my favorite places.

The initial 'So well' is filler and unnecessary; remove it. The sentence is a run-on; adding commas and replacing contraction 'it's' with 'it is' (optional) improves formality and clarity. Suggestion: remove filler words and separate clauses with commas.

× Also, I like to take photos and enjoy seeing new landscapes when I travel abroad.

✓ Also, I like taking photos and enjoy seeing new landscapes when I travel abroad.

Parallel structure: 'like taking' and 'enjoy seeing' are both gerund constructions; using 'like to take' with 'enjoy seeing' mixes forms. Suggestion: use parallel gerunds for smoother style.