Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, then give one or two specific reasons with a linking word. Avoid filler sounds (um, uh) and repetition. Keep it to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Not really. I rarely take photos because I prefer to enjoy the scene with my own eyes. For example, when I visit scenic spots I focus on the atmosphere rather than photographing everything, so I have only a few pictures in my gallery.

提案: Answer directly and give clear contrast with linking words (e.g., "at night... but during the day..."). Remove hedging and repetitions. Use specific reasons and correct vocabulary (e.g., "peaceful" instead of "try and kill"). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: It depends. At night I prefer urban views because the city lights and lively streets are more interesting, but during the day I like rural areas because they are peaceful and offer beautiful natural scenery.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and avoid negative or vague comments about other countries. Provide a specific reason and an example. Use polite language and correct grammar (e.g., "I prefer views in my country because I like cityscapes"). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I enjoy urban landscapes and the architecture in my city. For instance, when I visited Canada I noticed many forests and open spaces, but I personally prefer seeing diverse buildings and busy streets.

× Umm, I don't take a picture in general.

✓ Umm, I don't take pictures in general.

The noun 'picture' should be plural when speaking generally about a habitual action. Use the plural form 'pictures' with 'take' to indicate repeated or general actions (singular/plural agreement). Suggestion: say 'I don't take pictures in general.'

× Umm in my photo in my gallery I don't have a lot of picture because I would like to enjoy with my eyes instead of taking picture.

✓ Umm, in my photo gallery I don't have a lot of pictures because I prefer to enjoy the view with my eyes instead of taking pictures.

Multiple issues: 'in my photo in my gallery' has wrong preposition and redundancy – use 'in my photo gallery'. 'A lot of picture' needs plural 'pictures'. 'Would like to enjoy with my eyes' is awkward; 'prefer to enjoy the view with my eyes' is correct collocation. 'Taking picture' should be 'taking pictures'. Suggestions: simplify structure, use correct prepositions and plural nouns, and use 'prefer to' for habitual preference.

× Umm, it depends, uh, at night, definitely urban area, because in rural, rural, rural areas there's nothing to see.

✓ Umm, it depends. At night, definitely urban areas, because in rural areas there's nothing to see.

'Urban area' should be plural to match general preference 'at night'. Repetition 'rural, rural, rural' is unnecessary. Keep 'in rural areas' consistent. Suggestion: use plural when speaking generally about types of areas.

× But on the daytime rural area it's more uh, try and kill and more quiet.

✓ But during the daytime, rural areas are calmer and quieter.

'On the daytime' is incorrect; use 'during the daytime'. 'Rural area' should be plural for general statements. 'It's more uh, try and kill' is unintelligible; likely meant 'calmer and quieter'. Use comparative adjectives 'calmer' and 'quieter' for comparison. Suggestion: use 'during' for time expressions and correct comparative adjectives.

× Uh, my country, uh, because, umm, I prefer city view.

✓ My country, because I prefer city views.

'Omission of article and pluralization: 'city view' is better as 'city views' when speaking generally. Also avoid filler 'uh' in formal answers. Suggestion: say 'I prefer city views'.

× So definitely I prefer city, but I was in Canada, there's nothing to see.

✓ So definitely I prefer cities, but when I was in Canada there wasn't much to see.

'I prefer city' should be 'I prefer cities' or 'I prefer the city'. 'I was in Canada, there's nothing to see' mixes tenses; use past tense 'there wasn't much to see' to match 'I was'. Also replace comma splice with proper clause. Suggestion: match tense and use plural or definite article.

× Pretty much all, there's trees all around.

✓ Pretty much everywhere there were trees all around.

'Pretty much all' is vague and ungrammatical. 'There's trees' uses singular contraction 'there's' with plural 'trees' – subject-verb agreement error. Use 'there were' to match plural 'trees' and past context. Suggestion: use 'there were' or 'there are' depending on tense and avoid 'all' alone.

× So I would like to see more, uh, buildings in my neighbors.

✓ So I would like to see more buildings in my neighborhood.

'In my neighbors' is incorrect; use 'in my neighborhood' to indicate area. 'Neighbors' are people, not places. Suggestion: use 'neighborhood' or 'neighbourhood' for the area where you live.