Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 「especially in airplane」は不自然なので「especially on airplanes」または「especially when I fly」とします。また、「a beautiful lake, sand, desert」は並列関係が不自然で、「beautiful lakes, sandy beaches, and vast deserts」のように複数形や形容詞を使うと自然です。最初に好みを直接述べた後、「because」で理由、「For example」で具体例を加える構成にすると、より論理的で効果的になります。

例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when travelling, especially on airplanes, because I enjoy looking at the scenery below. For example, when I flew to Australia, I saw beautiful lakes, sandy beaches, and vast deserts. The views made the journey much more enjoyable.

提案: 「Yes,」の後にコンマを置き、「the Guam」ではなく「Guam」とします。「a very memorable moment」は旅行全体を指すため、「It was a very memorable trip」のほうが適切です。また、「beautiful sea, beach, forest」は「the beautiful sea, beaches, and forests」のように冠詞・複数形を整え、「a lasting memories」は「a lasting memory」に修正してください。過去の旅行について話しているため、最後も「It is still a lasting memory for me」のように時制を自然にまとめるとよいです。

例: Yes, I went to Guam with my family when I was a child. It was a long but memorable trip because we spent several days exploring the island. We enjoyed the beautiful sea, sandy beaches, and lush forests. It is still one of my fondest childhood memories.

× Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when travelling, especially in airplane because I can enjoy the beautiful landscapes.

✓ Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when travelling, especially on an airplane, because I can enjoy the beautiful landscapes.

Use on, not in, when referring to being a passenger on an airplane. The preposition on is used for public transportation and aircraft.

× Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when travelling, especially in airplane because I can enjoy the beautiful landscapes.

✓ Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when travelling, especially on an airplane, because I can enjoy the beautiful landscapes.

Airplane is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article. Use an because airplane begins with a vowel sound.

× When I went to Australia I really enjoyed a beautiful lake, sand, desert, and other natural environments in Australia.

✓ When I went to Australia, I really enjoyed a beautiful lake, sand, a desert, and other natural environments in Australia.

Desert is a singular countable noun in this sentence, so it needs the indefinite article a. Sand is an uncountable noun and does not need an article.

× Yes I went to the Guam with my family when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I went to Guam with my family when I was a child.

Guam is a proper place name that normally does not take the definite article the.

× We really enjoyed beautiful sea, beach, forest in the Guam.

✓ We really enjoyed the beautiful sea, beaches, and forests in Guam.

Beach and forest are countable nouns referring to multiple places or natural features, so they should be pluralized as beaches and forests. Sea can be singular when referring to the sea as a general geographical feature.

× We really enjoyed beautiful sea, beach, forest in the Guam.

✓ We really enjoyed the beautiful sea, beaches, and forests in Guam.

Use the before beautiful sea when referring to the specific sea that the student experienced. Also, do not use the before Guam.

× Yeah, it will be a lasting memories for me.

✓ Yeah, it will be a lasting memory for me.

The article a must be followed by a singular countable noun. Therefore, memories must be changed to the singular form memory.