Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly and explain your preference more clearly. Use the present simple consistently: “When I travel,” rather than “when traveling.” Avoid the unnatural phrase “ignore all the dizziness”; say “take my mind off my motion sickness” instead. Also, replace “Obviously” with a more natural linking phrase such as “The main reason is that.” Add a specific benefit of sitting by the window, such as enjoying the view or getting fresh air.

例: Yes, I do. The main reason is that I often get motion sickness when I travel by car or bus, so I usually look out the window or sleep to take my mind off it. I also enjoy watching the scenery along the way.

提案: Use the past tense because the question asks about your childhood: “I had” and “we often travelled.” Use the plural noun “journeys” and say “to distant places such as Bangkok or Phuket,” rather than “to some far place in Bangkok or Phuket.” Connect the ideas with clear linking words, such as “Although” or “However,” and give one specific detail about a memorable journey or why you preferred travelling by plane.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, my family often took long journeys to places such as Bangkok and Phuket. Although I enjoyed spending time with my family, I did not really like travelling by car because it made me feel uncomfortable. I preferred travelling by plane because it was faster and more convenient.

× Obviously I sleep a lot when traveling in the car or bus.

✓ Obviously, I sleep a lot when traveling by car or bus.

When referring to transportation in a general sense, use the preposition by: by car, by bus, or by plane. The phrase in the car is possible when emphasizing being inside a specific car, but by car is more natural here.

× I often get dizziness.

✓ I often get dizzy.

Dizzy is the adjective used to describe how a person feels. Dizziness is a noun, so get dizziness is not the natural grammatical expression in this context. Use get dizzy or feel dizzy.

× Obviously I sleep a lot when traveling in the car or bus I often get S dizziness and I love to sleep to ignore all the dizziness.

✓ Obviously, I sleep a lot when traveling by car or bus because I often get dizzy, and I love to sleep to ignore the dizziness.

The original sentence contains several independent ideas joined without appropriate punctuation or a conjunction, creating a run-on sentence. Use a comma after Obviously and add because to show the reason. Also, remove the apparent transcription error S and use the natural expression get dizzy.

× I do have a lot of journey with my family as a child.

✓ I do have a lot of journeys with my family as a child.

The quantifier a lot of refers to more than one journey in this context, so the countable noun journey should be plural: journeys.

× I do have a lot of journeys with my family as a child we often traveling together to some far place in Bangkok or Phuket.

✓ I had many journeys with my family as a child. We often traveled together to some faraway places in Bangkok or Phuket.

The phrase as a child refers to a completed period in the past, so use the past-tense forms had and traveled instead of do have and traveling. The sentence should also be divided to avoid joining two complete sentences incorrectly.

× I do have a lot of journey with my family as a child we often traveling together to some far place in Bangkok or Phuket.

✓ I had many journeys with my family as a child. We often traveled together to some faraway places in Bangkok or Phuket.

The original sentence joins two independent clauses without a period, semicolon, or suitable conjunction. Separate the ideas into two sentences. This makes the response clearer and easier to understand.

× But I don't really enjoy traveling by car, I enjoy traveling by plane.

✓ But I didn't really enjoy traveling by car; I enjoyed traveling by plane.

Because the answer describes the student's experience as a child, the verbs should be in the past tense: didn't enjoy and enjoyed. The semicolon correctly separates the two closely related independent clauses.

× But I don't really enjoy traveling by car, I enjoy traveling by plane.

✓ But I didn't really enjoy traveling by car; I enjoyed traveling by plane.

The original sentence is a comma splice because two complete sentences are joined only with a comma. Use a semicolon, a period, or a suitable conjunction. Here, a semicolon clearly connects the contrasting preferences.