Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答有明确立场，但存在明显的时态、句子结构和表达重复问题。应使用现在时表达一般偏好，例如“prefer”和“when I travel”；“one was in a long time travel”表达不自然，可以改为“on a long journey”。建议采用“观点＋原因＋具体结果”的结构，并使用“because”和“so”连接细节。最后，不要重复使用“I think”和“scenery”，可以用“beautiful landscapes”或“the views along the way”等更自然的词组。

例: Yes, absolutely. I prefer sitting by the window when I travel because I can enjoy the views along the way. On a long journey, watching the countryside or cityscape makes the trip more relaxing and enjoyable.

提案: 回答能够直接回答问题，也提供了旅行地点和情感结果，但时间表达和动词时态错误较多。“one was a Senior High School student”应改为“When I was a senior high school student”；过去经历应统一使用一般过去时，如“had”“went”“was”。“go to the Thailand”应改为“went to Thailand”，“a very deep memories”应改为“deep memories”或“a lasting memory”。建议补充一个具体活动或印象，使答案更生动，并避免重复使用“travel”。

例: Yes, definitely. When I was a senior high school student, I took a long trip to Thailand with my parents. We visited several temples and tried lots of local food, so it became one of my most memorable family experiences.

× I prefer to sit by the window when I was traveling because I think, uh, one was in a long time travel and I just say near the window, I I can see the scenery in the whole travel and I think the scenery is very good and I can see all kinds.

✓ I prefer to sit by the window when I travel because, uh, when I am on a long journey, I can sit near the window and see the scenery throughout the journey. I think the scenery is very beautiful, and I can see all kinds of things.

“Prefer”表示现在的习惯或偏好，后面描述一般情况时应使用一般现在时，所以将“was traveling”改为“travel”。“one was in a long time travel”句子结构不完整且表达不自然，改为“when I am on a long journey”。“I I”是代词重复，应删除一个“I”。“in the whole travel”中的介词使用不正确，更自然的表达是“throughout the journey”。“all kinds”后面缺少名词，应补充“of things”。

× I still remember that one was a Senior High School student.

✓ I still remember when I was a senior high school student.

“one was a Senior High School student”缺少合适的连接结构，且“one”不能代替说话者自己。应使用“when I was...”来表达“当我还是一名高中生时”。“was”是过去时，符合回忆过去经历的语境。

× I have a long travel with my parents and we go to the Thailand.

✓ I had a long journey with my parents, and we went to Thailand.

题目询问童年时的经历，因此应使用一般过去时：“have”改为“had”，“go”改为“went”。国家名称“Thailand”前通常不加定冠词“the”，所以应说“went to Thailand”。“a long journey”比“a long travel”更符合英语语法和习惯表达。

× I think it is a very memorable travel and this travel give me a very deep memories of my family.

✓ I think it was a very memorable journey, and this journey gave me very deep memories of my family.

这里讲的是过去的旅行经历，所以“is”应改为过去时“was”，“give”应改为“gave”。“memories”是复数，前面不能使用不定冠词“a”；应删除“a”。主语“this journey”是第三人称单数，但过去时动词使用“gave”，不再添加“-s”。“journey”比“travel”更适合作为一次具体的旅行。