Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly, then give one clear reason and a brief result or feeling. Use “near the window” rather than “nearby the window,” and say “makes me feel free” instead of “make me feel like free bird.” Avoid repetition and unfinished phrases such as “often often awfully.” Also, connect the ideas more naturally with linking words such as “because” and “so.”

例: Definitely. I prefer to sit near the window when I travel because I enjoy looking at the scenery and watching the clouds. It also makes me feel relaxed, so I usually choose a window seat whenever possible.

提案: Begin with a clear answer and describe one specific journey. The phrase “to Monday two temples” is unclear, and “by railway” should be “by train.” Use complete sentences and linking words to explain where you went, how long the journey was, and why you remember it. Avoid repeating “really good” and use the past tense consistently, for example, “we travelled” and “we visited.”

例: Yes, I remember taking a long train journey with my family when I was a child. We travelled to visit two famous temples, and the journey took almost eight hours. Although it was tiring, I enjoyed spending time with my family and still remember it fondly.

× I prefer to sit nearby the window while travelling.

✓ I prefer to sit near the window while travelling.

Near is the correct preposition before a noun such as the window. Nearby is usually used as an adverb or adjective and is not normally followed directly by a noun.

× I am flying, which make me feel like free bird.

✓ I am flying, which makes me feel like a free bird.

The relative clause refers to the singular idea expressed by the preceding clause, so the verb should be makes, not make.

× It makes me feel like free bird.

✓ It makes me feel like a free bird.

The singular countable noun bird requires an article. Use a because this is a general reference to one bird.

× Definitely yes, I prefer to sit nearby the window while travelling because it makes me feel like I am beyond the clouds and I'm flying which make me feel like free bird and often often awfully it feels awfully.

✓ Definitely, I prefer to sit near the window while travelling because it makes me feel as if I am above the clouds and flying, which makes me feel like a free bird. It often feels wonderful.

The original answer contains several clauses joined without clear punctuation or structure, and the ending is an incomplete and repetitive phrase. Divide the ideas into complete sentences and avoid repeating adverbs unnecessarily.

× I vividly remember I used to go with my family by railway to Monday two temples alongside it is really good to remember that I had really good childhood because I travel.

✓ I vividly remember that I used to travel with my family by train to many temples. It is really good to remember that I had a really good childhood because I travelled a lot.

The original response combines several unrelated clauses into one sentence and includes an unclear phrase. Use separate complete sentences and add that after remember to introduce the remembered information clearly.

× I had really good childhood.

✓ I had a really good childhood.

Childhood is a singular countable noun in this expression, so it needs the indefinite article a.

× I had really good childhood because I travel.

✓ I had a really good childhood because I travelled a lot.

The answer describes experiences during childhood, so the past-tense form travelled is required instead of the present-tense form travel.