Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly in the first sentence and avoid fillers such as “uh” and repeated words. Use accurate phrases such as “take pictures of the scenery” instead of “get the clicker” and “pictures about their trip.” Also, replace unclear expressions like “summer adventures” and “get over the route” with specific details about enjoying the scenery or following the route. Connect your ideas with a clear linking word such as “Moreover” or “For example.”

例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I can enjoy the scenery and take pictures along the way. Moreover, I find it easier to follow the route from the window. For example, beautiful landscapes can make a long journey more enjoyable and memorable.

提案: Use the past tense consistently: say “When I was in seventh grade, we went on a trip to Amritsar by car.” Improve natural collocations, including “go on a trip,” “gave me happy memories,” and “made me more confident about travelling.” The response should clearly describe the journey and its effect instead of ending with the unclear phrase “it fills me a happy by seeing.” Add one specific detail, such as the journey’s length, a place you visited, or an activity you enjoyed.

例: Yes, when I was in seventh grade, my family and I went on a long road trip to Amritsar. It was memorable because it was my first long journey with them, and we spent several hours talking and enjoying the scenery. As a result, I became more confident about travelling and developed many happy memories.

× From my perspective, I like to sit by the window because, uh, by sitting on the window side, uh, we can, can get the clicker, the pictures about their trip and it can make the summer memorable to that.

✓ From my perspective, I like to sit by the window because, by sitting there, we can take pictures of our trip, which can make the trip memorable.

Use by the window or sitting there, not sitting on the window side. The preposition of is used to connect pictures with the trip: pictures of our trip. The phrase memorable to that is not grammatically correct; the natural structure is make the trip memorable.

× the pictures about their trip

✓ pictures of our trip

The speaker is talking about a trip taken by the speaker and the family, so the possessive pronoun should be our, not their. Our agrees with the people included in the trip.

× And we can also see the beautiful views and, uh, summer adventures and get over the route, uh, know about the.

✓ We can also see the beautiful views, enjoy the scenery, and learn about the route.

The original sentence contains an incomplete ending and an unclear verb sequence. Use parallel verb forms after can: see, enjoy, and learn. A complete sentence should include a clear object after learn, such as the route.

× When I was in my 7th grade, we go to the trip to Amritsar on the car.

✓ When I was in seventh grade, we went on a trip to Amritsar by car.

The natural preposition is on in the expression go on a trip. Use by car to describe the means of transportation, not on the car. The phrase in seventh grade is also more natural than in my seventh grade.

× When I was in my 7th grade, we go to the trip to Amritsar on the car.

✓ When I was in seventh grade, we went on a trip to Amritsar by car.

The question asks about a journey in the past, and the time expression when I was in seventh grade refers to a finished past time. Therefore, go must change to its past form went.

× we go to the trip to Amritsar

✓ we went on a trip to Amritsar

English uses the fixed expression go on a trip, not go to the trip. The indefinite article a is used because this refers to one trip that has not previously been identified.

× it builds me a summer happiness and some confident about the travels and it fills me a happy by seeing.

✓ It brought me great happiness, gave me some confidence about travelling, and made me happy when I saw new places.

The whole experience happened in the past, so present-tense verbs such as builds and fills should be changed to the past-tense forms brought, gave, and made.

× some confident about the travels

✓ some confidence about travelling

Confident is an adjective, but the sentence needs a noun after some. The correct noun is confidence. Travelling is a natural gerund for talking about the activity in general.

× it fills me a happy by seeing.

✓ It made me happy when I saw new places.

The original structure is incomplete and uses the wrong pattern. The verb make can be followed by an object and an adjective: made me happy. The clause when I saw new places clearly explains when the speaker felt happy.