Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (articles, verb forms) and avoid repetition. Aim for 2–3 sentences, e.g. state your general preference, then explain why with concrete details and a linking word.

例: I usually choose my seat depending on the journey length. For long-haul flights I prefer an aisle seat because it’s easier to get up and use the restroom, whereas on short flights I like a window seat so I can enjoy the view.

提案: Improve grammar and provide a clearer, more natural structure: give a topic sentence, then add specific details (age, origin, duration) using linking words. Avoid tense errors and repetition of place names. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and add a brief comment on the experience to enrich content.

例: Yes. When I was five, my family and I flew from Hong Kong to the UK on a very long flight that lasted about eighteen hours. It was tiring but memorable because I watched several movies and spent time with my parents.

× It depends on the travelling time.

✓ It depends on the travel time.

Use of 'travelling' as a noun is not wrong but 'travel time' is the more natural noun phrase in this context. This is an issue with word form choice within present tense context; use the noun 'travel' when referring to duration. Suggestion: say 'travel time' instead of 'travelling time'.

× When I am going to a long distance flight then I will sit next to the aisles if I am traveling in a short shorter time that I will sit by this window since I can go to the toilet easily if I travel

✓ If I am taking a long-distance flight, I will sit in an aisle seat; if I am traveling for a short time, I will sit by the window so I can go to the toilet easily.

Multiple errors: word choice and structure, tense consistency, article and singular/plural. 'Going to a long distance flight' is incorrect — use 'taking' or 'on' and hyphenate 'long-distance'. 'Next to the aisles' is wrong: use 'in an aisle seat' or 'by the aisle'. 'If I am traveling in a short shorter time' contains redundancy and wrong order; use 'if I am traveling for a short time'. Also split into two conditional clauses for clarity. Maintain future-in-the-future with 'will' consistently. Suggestion: use 'If I am taking a long-distance flight, I will sit in an aisle seat; if I am traveling for a short time, I will sit by the window.'

× Did you have a long journey with your family as a child?

✓ Did you have a long journey with your family when you were a child?

Question was fine but 'as a child' is acceptable; however 'when you were a child' is more natural in conversational English. This is a minor past-tense/context phrasing improvement. Suggestion: use 'when you were a child' for clarity.

× I did have a long flight with my family as a child.

✓ I did have a long flight with my family when I was a child.

Use 'when I was a child' for natural past-time reference. The auxiliary 'did' is acceptable for emphasis but not necessary. Maintain past tense 'did have' -> 'had' is simpler: 'I had a long flight with my family when I was a child.' Suggestion: prefer 'I had' or keep 'I did have' only if emphasizing.

× When I was five years old, I have been to UK with my family from Hong Kong to UK which is a really long flight like around eighteen hours.

✓ When I was five years old, I went to the UK with my family from Hong Kong; it was a really long flight of about eighteen hours.

Mixing past simple ('When I was five') with present perfect ('I have been to') is incorrect. Use past simple 'I went' to match the finished past time. Also add the definite article 'the UK' and clearer phrasing: 'a really long flight of about eighteen hours.' Suggestion: use past simple for events at a specific time in the past and include 'the' before 'UK'.