Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, and give one or two specific reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas. Also use correct phrases for motion sickness (e.g., "I get motion sick"). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: No, I prefer not to sit by the window when I travel because I often get motion sick. For example, looking outside makes me feel nauseous and sometimes I even vomit, so I usually choose an aisle seat to feel more comfortable.

提案: Organize your response with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details and a linking word to show contrast. Avoid repeating phrases and correct tense and wording (e.g., "I always got motion sickness"). Limit to 3–4 sentences and include a brief example or consequence to be specific.

例: Yes. When I was a child my family drove to another city for a holiday, and the trip was enjoyable because we chatted and listened to music together. However, I wasn’t comfortable for the whole journey because I often got motion sickness and felt very dizzy, which made the long drive tiring for me.

× To be honest, not truly because I always feel nauseous sitting by the window and I always throw out because of that feeling.

✓ To be honest, not really, because I always feel nauseous when sitting by the window and I always throw up because of that feeling.

Errors: 'not truly' is awkward — use 'not really' (word choice but relevant to clarity). 'sitting by the window' needs a clause marker: use 'when sitting' to show time/condition (verb + -ing form used correctly with when). 'throw out' is incorrect verb choice for vomiting; the correct phrasal verb is 'throw up'. Suggestion: use 'when' before the -ing phrase for clarity and replace 'throw out' with 'throw up'. Note: This correction focuses on verb + -ing structure and verb choice.

× Yes, once I traveled with my family by car to another city, the journey itself was so fun.

✓ Yes, once I traveled with my family by car to another city; the journey itself was so fun.

The original sentence mixes two independent clauses with a comma (comma splice). The main issue is sentence structure and punctuation; tense 'traveled' is correct (simple past) for a past event. Correction connects clauses properly with a semicolon. Suggestion: keep past tense for completed actions and avoid comma splices by using a semicolon, conjunction, or separate sentences.

× We had so much fun together, but I didn't feel so happy in the journey because I always feel I always get motion sickness and I felt so dizzy that day and the journey itself was so long.

✓ We had so much fun together, but I didn't enjoy the journey because I always get motion sickness; I felt very dizzy that day and the journey was very long.

Errors: Mixed tenses and repetition. 'I didn't feel so happy in the journey' is awkward; use 'didn't enjoy the journey' (past). 'because I always feel I always get motion sickness' repeats 'always' and mixes present general habit ('I always get motion sickness') with past context; keep general habit in present simple ('I always get motion sickness') and past experience in past ('I felt very dizzy that day'). Also replace 'in the journey' with 'during the journey' (preposition usage). Suggestions: maintain consistent tense: past for that trip, present simple for general habits; remove repeated words and use appropriate prepositions.