Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity and tense consistency. Start with a clear topic sentence in present tense (since question asks general preference). Remove irrelevant or unclear phrases (e.g. "see the homework"). Add one specific reason and a linking word to connect ideas. Keep to 2–4 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel. I like looking out at the scenery because it helps me relax and keeps me entertained during long journeys. For example, I enjoy watching mountains and small towns pass by, which makes the trip feel shorter.

提案: Use past tense consistently and give a clearer specific example. Begin with a direct topic sentence about childhood trips, then add one or two concrete details (where you went, how long, who attended). Use a linking word to connect ideas and avoid filler phrases.

例: Yes, I often went on long journeys with my family when I was a child. For instance, we usually took week-long trips to the coast every summer, and I remember exploring beaches and visiting local markets with my parents and siblings.

× Yes, I really prefer to sit by the window when I was traveling because when I sit in the window it feels like I can see the homework like I can't see the beautiful world and it's so fun to do it.

✓ Yes, I really prefer to sit by the window when I travel because when I sit by the window it feels like I can see the whole world; I can't miss the beautiful scenery and it's so fun.

The student mixes past tense 'was traveling' with present preference 'prefer'. Use simple present 'travel' to match habitual preference. 'Sit in the window' is incorrect preposition; use 'sit by the window'. 'See the homework' is likely a lexical error; intended meaning is 'see the whole world' or 'see the beautiful scenery'. Also replace 'like I can't see' with clear clause 'I can't miss' or 'I can see' to convey meaning. Use punctuation to separate ideas and improve clarity. Suggested improvement: keep tense consistent (present for habits), choose correct prepositions ('by' for window), and use precise nouns ('scenery' or 'whole world') rather than 'homework'.

× Yes, I have a long journey with my family when I was a child like my family can have one or two plan of the mon yeah like I can go to anything I want with me.

✓ Yes, I had long journeys with my family when I was a child. My family would make one or two plans a month, and I could go anywhere I wanted.

The sentence incorrectly mixes present perfect 'have' with past time reference 'when I was a child'; use simple past 'had' for completed past events. 'A long journey' should be plural 'long journeys' for repeated trips. 'Can have' should be past habitual 'would make' or 'used to make'. 'Plan of the mon' is unclear; likely 'plans a month'. 'I can go to anything I want with me' has pronoun and modality errors; use 'I could go anywhere I wanted' to match past context. Suggested improvement: maintain past tense consistency, use plural for repeated events, use correct modal for past ability ('could'), and correct pronouns.