Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, with a good topic sentence and a supporting example. To improve, remove repetition (‘instance’ twice), add a linking phrase to make the example flow smoothly, and include one more specific detail (e.g., how the scenery affects your mood or what you notice). Keep the reply concise (no more than 4–5 sentences).

例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy watching the scenery pass by. For example, on trips around my country I often see rolling countryside and rugged mountains, which helps me relax and feel less stressed. Also, I like spotting small villages and local farms along the way, which gives me a sense of the region’s culture.

提案: This response answers the question directly and gives specific details (destination, duration, reasons it was tiring). To improve, add a linking word to connect ideas, vary vocabulary (use synonyms for ‘exhausting’), and, if possible, include a brief positive or reflective comment to balance the answer. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child my family took a two-day bus trip to Croatia, and it was quite tiring because there were few stops and the seats were uncomfortable. However, we made the best of it by sharing stories and listening to music, which helped pass the time.

× Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy watching the scenery pass by. For instance, instance on trips in my country, I like seeing countryside and mountains, which makes the journey more relaxing.

✓ Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy watching the scenery pass by. For instance, on trips in my country, I like seeing the countryside and mountains, which makes the journey more relaxing.

Type: 26 Sentence structure errors. The sentence contains a repeated word 'instance' and missing article 'the' before 'countryside'. The repetition is a word choice/structure error that disrupts fluency. Add 'the' because 'countryside' as a specific landscape in the speaker's country requires the definite article. Suggestion: remove the duplicated word so the phrase reads 'For instance, on trips in my country' and include 'the countryside' to make the noun phrase grammatically complete.

× Yes, I did. When I was a child we took a long bus trip to Croatia that lasted about two days and it was exhausting because there were few stops and the seats were uncomfortable.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child we took a long bus trip to Croatia that lasted about two days, and it was exhausting because there were few stops and the seats were uncomfortable.

Type: 22 Article errors / 26 Sentence structure errors. The original sentence is grammatically acceptable, but it benefits from a comma before 'and' to join two independent clauses for clearer structure. There is no article problem with 'few stops' or 'the seats' here; keep 'the seats' because it refers to the seats on that bus. Suggestion: add a comma before 'and' to improve readability and separate the two independent clauses.