Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more concise and grammatically natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use linking words for coherence. Add one specific example to support your preference. Watch verb forms and word order (e.g., 'where we are going' not 'where are we going').

例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy the scenic views and watching towns and landscapes pass by. For example, on a recent train trip I spent hours looking at rivers and farms, which made the journey more relaxing and interesting.

提案: Use past simple consistently when talking about childhood events and make sentences clearer and less repetitive. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific details (when, where, who) and a brief feeling or result. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'because' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I did. When I was ten, my family took a long road trip to a nearby town, and I usually sat by the window with my brothers. For example, I remember watching small farms and hills pass by and feeling excited because I could see where we were going.

× When travelling I prefer to sit by the window to see the scenic views and then the places that we get by or pass by and then I love to see where are we going and then the places that we are going to.

✓ When travelling, I prefer to sit by the window to see the scenic views and the places we pass, and I like to see where we are going.

This sentence has tense and word-order problems (Present tense issue). 'Get by' is incorrect in this context; use 'pass' for places you go past. The clause 'where are we going' uses question word order inside a statement; it should be 'where we are going.' The sentence is also redundant and awkward; combine ideas and use parallel structure: 'prefer... to see' and 'like to see' with present simple for habitual preferences. Use commas to separate phrases.

× Yes, I do have a long journey with my family as a child.

✓ Yes, I had a long journey with my family as a child.

This is a Past tense issue. The event happened in the past ('as a child'), so use simple past 'had' instead of present 'do have.' Use past tense to match the time reference.

× I remember we have a road trip, going to another town I remember to sit by the window to gather with my brothers and I really love to see the journey that we're coming to and then I am able to see the places that we are going.

✓ I remember we had a road trip to another town. I remember sitting by the window with my brothers; I really loved seeing the route we were taking and the places we passed.

Multiple Past tense issues. The memory refers to past events, so use past simple ('had a road trip') and past participle/gerund forms for remembered actions ('remember sitting'). 'Gather with my brothers' is incorrect in this context; use 'with my brothers.' 'We're coming to' and 'are going' use present tense or incorrect phrasing; change to past continuous or past simple: 'we were taking' and 'we passed.' Also break into shorter sentences and use appropriate verb forms for past narration.