Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy, clarity and coherence. Start with a direct, present-tense topic sentence (e.g. “No, I usually don’t.”), avoid filler sounds (uh, um), and keep sentences concise (max 3–4). Then add one clear reason using a linking word (for example or because) and a specific detail. Use correct verb forms and prepositions.

例: No, I usually don’t sit by the window when I travel. Instead, I prefer an aisle seat because I often use my phone and like to stretch my legs. For example, on recent flights I spent most of the time watching videos and napping, so the aisle seat is more convenient.

提案: Focus on past tense and organize the answer with a clear topic sentence about a childhood trip. Reduce hesitation, use linking words (for example, and then) and give specific details (where, who, what you did). Keep to 2–3 concise sentences and correct verb forms (went, swam).

例: Yes, I had a long journey with my family when I was about three years old. We went to the seaside in Dubai, and I remember swimming in the hotel pool and visiting several attractions with my parents. It was a busy trip with many new experiences for me.

× No, I didn't because I in traveling, I am uh, playing with the mobile and I'm sleeping uh, and, and my, my traveling is uh, sometimes in day because.

✓ No, I didn't, because when I was traveling I would play with my mobile and sleep, and my trips were sometimes during the day.

The student mixed present and past tenses. The question asks about preference when travelling (general/habitual past), so past tense should be used. Use 'when I was traveling' (past continuous) and 'I would play' or 'I played' for habitual past actions. Also change 'my traveling is sometimes in day' to 'my trips were sometimes during the day' for correct noun choice and preposition. Suggestion: keep tense consistent (past) and use appropriate nouns and prepositions ('trip(s)', 'during the day').

× Uh, yes, I do. When I am, uh, I think, uh, three years old, I go with my mom and dad to the Bay and I go and swimming pool and do a lot of work and, and in Dubai there was a lot.

✓ Yes. When I was about three years old, I went with my mom and dad to the bay; I went to the swimming pool and did a lot of things, and there was a lot to do in Dubai.

The student uses present tense ('I do', 'I am', 'I go') but describes past events, so use past tense verbs ('was', 'went', 'did'). Also correct collocations: 'about three years old', 'went to the swimming pool', and 'did a lot of things'. Clarify 'in Dubai there was a lot' to 'there was a lot to do in Dubai'. Suggestion: maintain past tense throughout and use standard verb-noun collocations ('went to the bay', 'went to the swimming pool').