Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 答题自然且直接，但有几处可改进：1) 主题句可以更简练（如“I prefer window seats”）。2) 避免重复（多次出现“window/windows”显得冗余）。3) 用更具体的词汇描述风景以丰富内容。4) 控制在五句以内并使用连接词使逻辑更顺畅。示例改进点包括替换“comfortable”用更具体原因（如“feel less claustrophobic”）并补充一两个具体场景。

例: I prefer window seats because they help me relax and feel less claustrophobic. Also, I enjoy watching the changing scenery, such as rolling hills or city skylines, which makes the journey more enjoyable.

提案: 回答包含有用信息但存在明显问题：1) 语法错误（如“which full of”应为“which was full of”或“full of”）；2) 内容不够连贯，细节矛盾（丽江不常见大象，动物描述令人怀疑）；3) 句子碎片化且重复，缺少连接词；4) 应给出更具体且真实的细节或说明若为想象应表明。建议改用一两个连贯的句子描述地点、时间和印象，并用连接词衔接。

例: Yes, about ten years ago I went to Lijiang with my family. It was a charming town full of ancient streets and lush pine forests, and I particularly remember watching playful squirrels in the park and enjoying the fresh mountain air.

× Yes, I do, because sitting by windows makes me comfortable.

✓ Yes, I do, because sitting by the window makes me comfortable.

该句中“windows”与上下文含义不一致。一般说“坐在窗边”使用单数“the window”更自然，表示坐在靠窗的位置。使用定冠词“the”指代前文或特指位置。建议使用“the window”来表达坐在靠窗位置的意思。

× What's more, if I can sit by windows, I can look out of the window and appreciate attractive views.

✓ What's more, if I can sit by the window, I can look out of the window and appreciate attractive views.

句中前半部分使用复数“windows”不合适且与后半句“the window”不一致。应使用定冠词“the window”来表示特定的窗边位置，语义连贯。建议两处统一使用“the window”。

× It's a beautiful town which full of forests and wildlife I appreciated.

✓ It's a beautiful town which is full of forests and wildlife, which I appreciated.

原句缺少系动词“is”，导致句子结构不完整；另外“wildlife I appreciated”缺少连接词，读起来不顺。需要加上“is”构成表语从句，并用逗号和关系代词或从句连接表达“我很喜欢这些景色”。建议改为“which is full of forests and wildlife, which I appreciated.”或更自然的“and I appreciated its forests and wildlife.”

× Green squirrels and they are very cute.

✓ There were green squirrels, and they were very cute.

原句片段不完整且冗余（“Green squirrels and they”重复主语）。根据上下文（叙述过去的旅行），应使用过去时并用完整句子表达。建议使用“There were”引出存在的动物，或直接写“Green squirrels were very cute.”。

× I also saw elephants and they are very strong and amazing.

✓ I also saw elephants, and they were very strong and amazing.

上下文为过去经历，主句应使用过去时态。原句用现在时“are”与叙述的时间不一致。将谓语改为过去时“were”以保持时态一致性。