Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve accuracy, clarity and coherence. Use correct words (e.g., traveling, towering → traveling; off the wheels → of the vehicle) and shorter, well‑punctuated sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Watch grammar: verb tense and article use, and separate ideas into correct sentences to avoid run‑ons.

例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel. I enjoy watching the scenery pass by, and I often take photos and short videos from my seat. Because I can look outside and capture moments, sitting by the window helps me relax and feel comfortable.

提案: Focus on accurate tense, clearer vocabulary and specific details. Use past tense for childhood experiences, correct expressions (e.g., 'when I was a child', 'we took long journeys'), and give one or two specific examples (where you went, how long, who was there, a memory). Use linking words to connect sentences.

例: Yes. When I was a child, my family often took long journeys to visit my grandparents in a small house outside the city. For example, we once drove three hours to stay there for a weekend, and I remember playing in the garden with my cousins.

× Yes, definitely I prefer to sit by the window when towering because I can see the scenery outside and also I can take photos and video off the wheels it's helped me feel relaxed and comfortable

✓ Yes, definitely I prefer to sit by the window when traveling because I can see the scenery outside, and I can also take photos and videos of the views; it helps me feel relaxed and comfortable.

Multiple errors: 'towering' is incorrect word choice (should be 'traveling') — this is a vocabulary/word choice error related to sentence structure (map to present tense/verb form issues). 'video' should be plural 'videos' to match context (singular/plural issue). 'off the wheels' is incorrect preposition and noun phrase; correct is 'of the views' or 'from the window' (preposition and noun choice error). Sentence run-on: two independent clauses joined without proper punctuation; separate with a comma and conjunction or a semicolon (sentence structure error). 'it's helped me' uses present perfect incorrectly here; simple present 'it helps me' matches the habitual meaning (present tense issue). Suggestion: use correct verb 'traveling', make plurals as needed, use 'of' or 'from' for photos/videos taken through the window, and change 'it's helped me' to 'it helps me' for general habit. Ensure proper punctuation to avoid run-on sentences.

× When I was a shy, I have a long journey with my family. Sometimes I go to Little House that far from my apartment

✓ When I was shy, I had a long journey with my family. Sometimes we went to a small house that was far from my apartment.

Errors: 'When I was a shy' uses incorrect article 'a' before an adjective; correct is 'When I was shy' (article error/pronoun/adjective usage). 'I have a long journey' mixes present tense with a past time reference; use past tense 'I had a long journey' (past tense issue). The second sentence: 'Sometimes I go to Little House that far from my apartment' has tense mismatch and incorrect noun phrasing. Use past tense 'Sometimes we went' to match 'when I was shy', and use 'a small house' or 'the little house' with appropriate article (article error). Also include 'that was far from my apartment' or 'which was far from my apartment' to form a correct relative clause (incorrect conjunction/relative clause). Suggestion: match past tense for childhood events, remove unnecessary articles before adjectives, and fix noun phrases with correct articles and relative pronouns.