Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitation and correct basic grammar and word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words. Replace fillers (uh) with short pauses, use 'sit' not 'seat', and 'a beautiful view' instead of 'an beautiful scenario'. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I usually prefer to sit by the window on long journeys because it gives me a beautiful view. For example, I can watch changing landscapes and take photos of interesting places. Also, because I enjoy photography, a window seat helps me capture good pictures during the trip.

提案: Provide a clear, well-structured answer with correct tense and fewer hesitations. Begin with a direct response, then give one or two specific memories or details using linking words (e.g., 'for example', 'we usually'). Fix tense errors ('went' instead of 'go went') and plural/singular mistakes. Avoid repeating words and finishing sentences properly.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, we often went on long journeys together, usually to visit relatives in the countryside. For example, I remember we would drive for several hours, stop at small towns for snacks, and enjoy playing games in the car, which made the trips very enjoyable.

× Uh, in long journeys, I always like to seat, uh, beside window because uh, uh, window gives me an beautiful scenario to see.

✓ In long journeys, I always like to sit beside the window because the window gives me a beautiful view to see.

Errors: 'seat' is a noun but the speaker needs the verb 'sit' (verb form error related to verb choice). 'beside window' misses the definite article 'the' before 'window' (article error). 'an beautiful' uses the wrong article before a consonant sound; it should be 'a beautiful'. 'scenario' is an awkward word here; 'view' is more natural. Suggestion: use the verb 'sit', include appropriate articles 'the' and 'a', and choose a collocation like 'beautiful view'.

× And uh, sitting at a window seat, I can take many photos and videos of the beautiful scenes.

✓ Sitting in a window seat, I can take many photos and videos of the beautiful scenery.

Errors: 'at a window seat' is less natural than 'in a window seat' (preposition and collocation). 'scenes' is acceptable but 'scenery' is more natural when referring to landscape views (word choice). Suggestion: use 'in a window seat' and 'scenery' for correct collocation and meaning.

× Yes, I did when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did when I was a child.

This sentence is grammatically correct as a short answer using past tense 'did'. No change needed. Suggestion: you can also say 'Yes, I did' or 'Yes, I did when I was a child' for clarity.

× I often, uh, I often go went with my family in for long journeys and it was very enjoyable trips, uh, we had together and uh, uh, we also both.

✓ I often went on long journeys with my family, and they were very enjoyable trips that we had together.

Errors: 'go went' is a redundancy and mixes present and past tense; choose past 'went' to match 'when I was a child' (past tense issue). 'with my family in for long journeys' has incorrect preposition use; use 'on long journeys' (preposition error). 'it was very enjoyable trips' has subject-verb and number disagreement: 'trips' is plural so use 'they were' (subject-verb agreement and singular/plural issue). The trailing 'we also both' is incomplete and unnecessary; removed to make the sentence complete (sentence structure error). Suggestion: use consistent past tense 'went', 'on long journeys', match plurality with verbs ('they were'), and avoid redundant fragments.