Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable and natural, but a little repetitive and contains minor fluency issues. Make your response more concise with a clear topic sentence, one or two specific supporting details, and a linking word. Avoid filler words and repetition (e.g., saying 'sitting near the window' twice).

例: Yes, I usually prefer the window seat because it’s more comfortable and gives me a view. For example, on trains I can relax and watch the countryside pass by, which makes long journeys more enjoyable.

提案: The response answers the question but has many hesitations, repetition, and an incomplete ending. Use a clear topic sentence, provide specific details (when, where, who), and link ideas without fillers. Keep it to two or three sentences and finish the thought fully.

例: Yes, when I was about ten we drove twelve hours to visit my grandparents in the countryside. The route was beautiful—rolling fields and rivers—so we spent the trip looking out the window and talking, which made the long drive feel short.

× Absolutely yes, I would always choose to sit near the window because sitting near the window is comfortable and also it's easy to do anything that I want.

✓ Absolutely. I would always choose to sit near the window because it is comfortable and I can easily do anything I want there.

The original has awkward phrasing and adverb placement issues. 'Absolutely yes' is unnatural; use 'Absolutely.' Repeating 'sitting near the window' is redundant. 'It's easy to do anything that I want' is wordy and has misplaced adverb 'also'. Use 'I can easily do anything I want there' for clear adverb placement and concise structure.

× Plus I can also enjoy the views on the way.

✓ Plus, I can also enjoy the views along the way.

'On the way' is not incorrect in all contexts but 'along the way' is more natural when referring to views seen during travel. Also add a comma after 'Plus' for clarity.

× Yes, it was such a long journey.

✓ Yes, it was a very long journey.

'Such a long journey' is acceptable but informal; not a strict grammar error. Changed 'such' to 'very' for naturalness. This addresses past-tense context consistency.

× It took us maybe 12 hours to uh be there.

✓ It took us maybe 12 hours to get there.

Use 'get there' instead of 'be there' to express arrival. 'Be there' is incorrect after 'to' in this context. 'It took us' correctly uses past tense; replace verb with appropriate infinitive 'to get'.

× It was such an amazing journey because umm views on the way are really amazing and beautiful.

✓ It was an amazing journey because the views along the way were really beautiful.

Remove filler 'umm' and avoid repeating 'amazing.' Use the definite article 'the views' to refer to specific views seen on that journey. Match tense: main clause 'was' so subordinate clause should use past tense 'were.' 'Along the way' is more natural than 'on the way.'

× We are able to relax and enjoy it and.

✓ We were able to relax and enjoy it.

The original is an incomplete sentence ending with 'and.' Also tense should match the past narrative, so use 'were able to' instead of present 'are able to.' Remove trailing 'and' to complete the thought.