Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix prepositions and word choice (e.g., “window seat,” “views,” “scenery,” “refreshing”).

例: Yes, I prefer a window seat because it gives me a great view of the landscape. For example, on long journeys I enjoy watching mountains and rivers pass by, which helps me relax and makes the trip feel shorter.

提案: Begin with a direct answer and provide specific details and a linking word to connect ideas. Improve grammar (e.g., “we travelled to many cities” not “we moved to many different cities for travelling”) and include one concrete memory or example to make the answer more vivid.

例: Yes, we often had long family trips when I was a child. For instance, every summer we visited a new city or country, and I especially remember a trip to X where we explored old markets and local food, which was a highlight of my childhood.

× Definitely I love sitting on the window side since it can provide a wonderful view from of outside and also I can see where I am and see also I can get different from outside which is really refreshing during a long travel

✓ Definitely I love sitting on the window side since it provides a wonderful view of the outside, and I can see where I am. I also get different sights from outside, which is really refreshing during a long trip.

Errors include incorrect preposition use ('from of outside' should be 'of the outside' or 'outside'), repeated and awkward clauses ('and also I can see where I am and see also I can get different from outside'), incorrect noun choice ('travel' used instead of countable 'trip'), and verb form/tense agreement ('it can provide' is acceptable but 'it provides' is more natural). Suggestions: use 'sitting' correctly as a gerund after 'love' (this is correct), replace 'from of outside' with 'of the outside' or simply 'outside', break long run-on sentence into shorter sentences, use 'sights' after 'different' to complete the noun phrase, and use 'trip' for a single journey. Ensure subject-verb agreement and clearer clause connectors (use commas and conjunctions appropriately).

× Definitely we as a family moved to many different cities for travelling.

✓ Definitely, as a family we moved to many different cities for travel.

The original sentence has an unnecessary preposition form 'for travelling'; in this context the noun 'travel' or 'travelling' as a gerund is acceptable but 'for travel' or 'to travel' is more natural. Also word order is awkward. Suggestions: place the phrase 'as a family' directly after the introductory adverb and use 'moved to many different cities' which correctly uses past tense 'moved'. If you mean repeated trips rather than relocation, consider 'we visited many different cities'.

× So it was really a wonderful memory of my life to travel to different kind of cities and also different kind of countries.

✓ So it was a really wonderful memory in my life to travel to different kinds of cities and different kinds of countries.

Errors include singular 'kind' after 'different' — it should be the plural 'kinds' because 'different kinds of cities/countries' refers to multiple types. Also word order 'memory of my life' is awkward; 'memory in my life' or simply 'a wonderful memory' is preferable. Suggestions: use plural 'kinds' after 'different', simplify word order for clarity, and avoid repeating 'also' unnecessarily.