Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽고 의미 전달은 되지만 몇 가지 오류와 중복 표현이 있습니다. 예를 들어 'look at look out the windows'와 같은 반복, 'reflect home myself'는 어색한 표현입니다. 답변 구조는 비교적 괜찮으나 연결어 사용과 구체적 세부 설명을 보완하세요. 구체적 팁: 1) 중복 제거 및 문법 수정(예: 'I usually look out of the window' 또는 'I enjoy watching the scenery'). 2) 이유를 한두 개의 구체적 예로 확장하고 연결어 사용(For example, / Also, / Because). 3) 문장 수는 2~4문장으로 유지하세요.

例: I usually prefer a window seat because I enjoy watching the scenery. For example, when I travel by train I like to watch passing fields and rivers, which helps me relax and think quietly. Also, seeing new places from the window makes the journey more interesting.

提案: 의미는 전달되지만 시제와 문법 오류, 문장 연결이 필요합니다. 'I watch the Auroras'는 과거 시제 사용(또는 더 자연스러운 표현)으로 고쳐야 하고, 'that's my one of the greatest memories'는 어순과 관사 문제가 있습니다. 구체적 팁: 1) 과거 경험은 과거 시제로 통일(eg. 'I saw the aurora'). 2) 문장 연결에 접속사나 연결어 사용(eg. 'It was the longest trip, and I saw the aurora there. It remains one of my best memories because...'). 3) 세부사항(누가, 언제, 어떤 점이 특별했는지)를 추가해 보세요.

例: When I was a child, I went to Canada with my family for a week, which was our longest trip together. There I saw the aurora borealis, and it was one of my most unforgettable memories because the lights were so bright and colourful. The experience brought our family closer as we watched the sky together.

× I prefer window seats because I love watching scenery.

✓ I prefer window seats because I love watching the scenery.

'watching scenery' is grammatical but sounds unnatural; adding the definite article 'the' clarifies the general scenery outside the window. This is an article use issue combined with natural collocation; use 'the scenery' for a specific visual scene observed while travelling.

× For example, travelling by trains, I usually look at look out the windows and it makes me feel comfortable and I can reflect home myself.

✓ For example, when travelling by train, I usually look out of the window; it makes me feel comfortable and helps me reflect on home.

Multiple issues: 'travelling by trains' should be 'travelling by train' (use singular after 'by'), and 'look at look out the windows' is redundant and ungrammatical—use 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window'. 'Reflect home myself' is incorrect collocation and missing preposition—use 'reflect on home' and remove 'myself'. Use of semicolon or splitting into two clauses improves sentence structure.

× I went to Canada for a week with my family and it was the longest trip with them and I watch the Auroras that's my one of the greatest memories in my life.

✓ I went to Canada for a week with my family; it was the longest trip with them, and I watched the auroras. That's one of the greatest memories of my life.

Tense mismatch: 'I watch the Auroras' should be past tense 'I watched the auroras' to match 'I went'. 'that's my one of the greatest memories in my life' is ungrammatical—use 'That's one of the greatest memories of my life.' Also capitalize 'auroras' only if treated as a common noun; fix punctuation and clause division for clarity.