Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like "I'm so easy to DC"; instead explain what you mean (e.g., easy to relax, get motion sick). Keep answers to under five sentences and use varied vocabulary such as "relaxing", "scenic", "comfortable".

例: Yes, I usually prefer the window seat because I find it more relaxing. For example, I enjoy looking at the scenery as we travel, which helps me unwind. Also, I feel less restless when I can lean against the wall and rest my head.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence describing the trip, then add specific details and use linking words for coherence. Replace short fragments with complete sentences and precise vocabulary (e.g., "we traveled eight hours to the beach", "I felt both excited and tired"). Mention one or two concrete memories to make the answer vivid.

例: Yes, I remember one long family journey when we drove eight hours to the beach. During the trip, we listened to music and played car games, which kept us entertained; however, by the end I was quite tired but happy to arrive.

× Yes, I prefer to sit by the window because it's so relaxing while on travel because I'm so easy to DC.

✓ Yes, I prefer to sit by the window because it's so relaxing when I'm traveling and I get carsick easily.

The original sentence has incorrect and unclear pronoun use and awkward phrasing ('while on travel', 'I'm so easy to DC'). Replace 'while on travel' with 'when I'm traveling' for natural English. 'I'm so easy to DC' is incorrect; likely means 'I get carsick easily' or 'I get motion sickness easily.' Use a clear subject + verb ('I get') and correct adjective/adverb order ('easily'). Ensure tense and meaning match the context.

× My long journey with a with my family as a child is when we go to the beach for 8 hours of traveling.

✓ My longest journey with my family as a child was when we traveled eight hours to go to the beach.

The original sentence has repetition ('with a with my family') and incorrect tense/structure. Use simple past ('was', 'traveled') because the event occurred in the past. Replace '8 hours of traveling' with 'traveled eight hours' or 'an eight-hour journey' for natural phrasing. Also use 'longest' if emphasizing duration; otherwise 'a long journey' is also correct.

× So enjoy and tired also.

✓ It was enjoyable but also tiring.

The original phrase fragments ('So enjoy and tired also') lack proper verb forms and connectors. Use adjectives correctly: 'enjoyable' (adjective describing the experience) and 'tiring' (adjective describing how it felt). Connect contrasting ideas with 'but'. Ensure the sentence has a subject ('It') and a verb ('was').