Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but can be more concise and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Avoid repetition (e.g., “stop the headaches and the dizziness” could be shortened) and correct minor awkward phrasing like “while you're driving” (use “when travelling” or “on the journey”).

例: Yes, I prefer a window seat because I get motion sickness. For example, looking outside helps me focus on a fixed point, which reduces the headaches and dizziness during long journeys.

提案: Good enthusiasm and content, but make the structure tighter: open with a direct answer, then give specific details. Avoid vague phrases like “a couple of ten hour driving” — be precise (e.g., “several ten-hour drives”). Use linking words (e.g., “for example” or “we often”) to connect ideas and correct small grammar issues.

例: Yes, we often had long journeys when I was a child. For example, my family made several ten-hour drives between states and we also took international flights, so I grew up travelling a lot.

× This is because I suffer from motion sickness and sitting by the window just helps me balance and stop the headaches and the dizziness that I feel due to the motion while you're driving.

✓ This is because I suffer from motion sickness, and sitting by the window helps me balance and stop the headaches and dizziness that I feel due to the motion when I'm traveling.

Errors: 'just helps me balance and stop the headaches and the dizziness' is awkward and uses extra articles; 'while you're driving' is inconsistent with the student's perspective and mixes pronouns and tenses. Classification: verb in the present participle form (10) because 'sitting' is used correctly as a gerund but surrounding structure is ungrammatical/awkward. Suggestion: remove 'just', remove the second 'the', use 'when I'm traveling' or 'when I travel' to match first-person perspective and present tense. Use commas to separate clauses.

× My family, I call them the great travellers, so we love travelling from one state to another.

✓ My family—whom I call the great travellers—loves travelling from one state to another.

Errors: incorrect clause insertion and subject-verb agreement. Classification: sentence structure errors (26) because the appositive is incorrect; also 'we' conflicts with singular 'family' concept. Suggestion: use a relative clause 'whom I call...' or rephrase with commas, and make verb agree with 'family' as a collective noun: 'loves' or change subject to 'we love' if you mean family members individually.

× So we have done a couple of ten hour driving, flying out of the country as well.

✓ So we have taken a couple of ten-hour drives, and we have flown out of the country as well.

Errors: 'a couple of ten hour driving' mixes singular/plural and wrong noun form. Classification: singular and plural issue (1) because 'driving' should be the noun 'drive' and needs plural 'drives'; 'ten-hour' needs a hyphen as a compound adjective. Suggestion: use 'taken a couple of ten-hour drives' or 'done a couple of ten-hour journeys' and separate the ideas with 'and' to include flying as another activity.