Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix article and word order errors (e.g. "the window seat"), avoid repetition, and keep to 2–4 sentences. Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g. "enjoy watching the scenery" or "seeing the landscape below").

例: I usually prefer the window seat when I travel because I enjoy watching the scenery. For example, from a plane I can see coastlines and cities, which makes me excited about arriving somewhere new. Also, the window gives me privacy to relax during the flight.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and provide one or two specific reasons. Use correct tense (past simple for finished habits) and fix sentence structure. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas, and avoid repeating phrases. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I didn’t often go on long journeys with my family when I was a child because everyone had different activities and busy schedules. For example, I trained for sports most weekends while my parents worked, so we rarely planned long trips together.

× When I travel, I always choose to sit on the window side of seat because we can easily see the view from airplane and I love seeing them because it's very it makes me feel that I'm actually going to a new place

✓ When I travel, I always choose to sit on the window side of the seat because we can easily see the view from the airplane and I love seeing it because it makes me feel like I'm actually going to a new place

Multiple issues: 1) Missing definite articles before 'seat' and 'airplane' — use 'the seat' and 'the airplane' when referring to a specific seat/airplane in context (Article errors, ID 22/17). 2) 'seeing them' incorrectly refers to 'view' (singular), so use 'seeing it' (Singular/plural and pronoun use, IDs 1 and 12). 3) Redundant 'it's very it makes me' — remove duplication and use 'it makes me feel like...' for natural phrasing (Sentence structure/adverb placement, IDs 26 and 20). Suggestions: add 'the' before countable nouns when specific, match pronoun number to its antecedent, and simplify redundant clauses by keeping only one main clause such as 'it makes me feel like...'. Use 'like' to introduce the feeling.

× No, actually I used to play some sports since I was a child and all of my family are doing different things. so we didn't have much to schedule so don't we didn't go

✓ No. Actually, I played some sports when I was a child, and the members of my family were doing different things, so we didn't have time to plan and we didn't go on long journeys

Issues: 1) 'used to play ... since I was a child' mixes 'used to' with 'since' — 'used to' refers to a habitual past and should be followed by a time period like 'when I was a child' (Past tense issue, ID 5). Alternatively use 'have played since' for continuing actions (Present perfect). 2) 'all of my family are doing different things' — subject-verb agreement and incorrect plural form; 'family' as a collective noun takes singular or rephrase to 'members of my family were doing different things' (Singular/plural and subject-verb agreement, IDs 1 and 27). 3) 'we didn't have much to schedule so don't we didn't go' — ungrammatical and contains contradiction 'don't' with past tense; correct to 'we didn't have time to plan so we didn't go' (Sentence structure and tense consistency, IDs 26 and 5). Suggestions: use consistent past tense for past situations, choose correct expressions ('time to plan' or 'a schedule'), and remove contradictory or extraneous words like 'don't' when speaking about the past.