Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 总体回答能够直接回应问题，但有语法和表达不够自然的问题，且有重复与赘述。建议： 1) 注意动词形式与主谓一致（例如 traveling → travel 或 am travelling; enjoy look → enjoy looking）。 2) 避免重复词（例如 I sometimes I often → 选择 one）。 3) 使用连接词使句子更连贯（e.g. because, so, and）。 4) 保持句子简洁，最多 3-4 句，每句包含清晰的主题句和1-2个具体细节或例子。

例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy looking at the scenery. For example, I often take photos of landscapes and interesting scenes outside. Sitting by the window also helps me relax during long journeys.

提案: 回答能表达童年有长途旅行的经历，但语法混乱，句子不完整且含有停顿填充词（uh, umm）。建议： 1) 使用正确时态和完整句子（e.g. When I was a child, my parents often took me on long road trips during the school holidays）。 2) 避免语气词和重复（去掉 uh, umm, 多余的短语）。 3) 提供具体细节增强内容（例如去过哪里、旅行时间长短、印象深刻的事情）。 4) 使用连接词使叙述更流畅（for example, so, because）。

例: Yes. When I was a child, my parents often took me on long road trips during the school holidays. We sometimes visited relatives who lived far away, so the journeys could take several hours. I remember enjoying the scenery and listening to stories in the car.

× Yes, I like sitting by the window when I traveling.

✓ Yes, I like sitting by the window when I am traveling.

句中缺少助动词“am”来构成现在进行时的进行式，表达“我在旅行时”的意思。建议：在主语为第一人称单数且使用动词的进行时形式时，使用正确的 be 动词（I am）。

× I enjoy look at scenery outside and I sometimes I often take photos to capture interesting views.

✓ I enjoy looking at the scenery outside, and I often take photos to capture interesting views.

“enjoy”后需接动名词（-ing），所以“look”应改为“looking”。另外“scenery”前通常需加定冠词“the”来特指窗外的景色；原句还有多余的词序“sometimes I often”，应删去冲突的副词并保持副词位置自然（通常放在动词前或后）。建议：enjoy 后接动名词；注意副词（sometimes/often）不要重复或冲突。

× Yes, I did my when I was child, my parents often took me long road trip when I have when I had the school holiday.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child, my parents often took me on long road trips when I had school holidays.

句中时态与冠词、介词使用混乱：1) “when I was child” 缺少不定冠词 a，且应为过去时“was a child”；2) “took me long road trip” 缺少介词 on 和复数形式 trips；3) “when I have when I had the school holiday” 有重复且时态应保持过去，因此用“when I had school holidays”。建议：叙述过去经历时全句使用过去时，注意冠词和固定搭配（take someone on a trip；school holidays）。

× Sometimes we visit our relatives uh, that they live far away.

✓ Sometimes we visited our relatives who live far away.

原句中定语从句结构错误：不需要重复主语“they”，应使用关系代词“who”引导从句。另外主句描述为过去习惯，建议把主句动词改为过去式“visited”，但从句描述亲属居住地点可用一般现在时或过去时，视上下文选择。建议：关系从句用 who/that + 主语省略重复人称，保持时态一致。

× So it took umm, long time and I'm so.

✓ So it took a long time and I was very tired.

原句结构不完整且有口语填充词“umm”，结尾“I'm so.” 不完整，缺少表语。根据前文描述过去经历，应使用过去时“was”并补全形容词如“very tired”来完成句意。建议：删除语气词，确保句子完整，有主语、谓语和宾语/表语，并与上下文时态一致。