Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and slightly expand with a clear topic sentence and one supporting detail. Avoid informal filler like "and that's it." Use a linking word to connect reasons and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel. I enjoy looking at the scenery because it helps me relax and makes the journey more enjoyable. For example, on flights I like watching the clouds and on bus trips I like seeing the countryside roll by.

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g., "pommelium") and replace them with precise descriptions like "family gatherings" or "special celebrations."

例: Yes, my family often took long journeys when I was a child. We usually traveled to visit relatives for birthday celebrations, and I remember playing with cousins and collecting photos as keepsakes, which created lasting memories.

× Yes, I like to sit by the window when traveling either a bus or plane so I can enjoy the view and that's it.

✓ Yes, I like to sit by the window when traveling by either a bus or a plane so I can enjoy the view.

Error type: incorrect use of prepositions and missing article. The student used 'when traveling either a bus or plane' which omits the required preposition 'by' before the modes of transport and omits the indefinite article before singular count nouns. Correct form is 'traveling by either a bus or a plane'. Also 'and that's it' is unnecessary in this context and can be omitted for a natural response. Suggestion: use 'traveling by' with 'a' before 'bus' and 'plane', and remove extraneous phrases.

× Yes, we did. I remember when I was a child we're going to meet the relatives to celebrate the birthdays and to get the memories were the pommelium.

✓ Yes, we did. I remember when I was a child we would go to visit relatives to celebrate birthdays and make memories during the pommelium.

Error type: incorrect tense and awkward phrasing. The original mixes present contraction 'we're' with past reference and uses 'going to meet' incorrectly; 'we would go' or 'we used to go' fits past habitual action. 'Meet the relatives' can be 'visit relatives'. 'To get the memories were the pommelium' is unclear and ungrammatical; assuming the intended idea is 'to make memories during the pommelium' (if pommelium is the event), rephrase accordingly. Suggestion: use past habitual 'would go' or 'used to go' for repeated past actions, use 'visit relatives', and rephrase unclear noun phrases into clear actions like 'make memories during X'.